{883}{966}[ Telephone Ringing ] {1044}{1104}[ Ringing Continues ] {1519}{1584}Hello. {1586}{1645}What ? {1647}{1732}No, l don't work today. {1733}{1789}I'm playing hockey at 2:00. {1853}{1930}Why don't you call Randal ? {1932}{1997}'Cause I'm fuckin' tired ! {2040}{2122}I just closed last night. {2124}{2172}Jesus. {2174}{2256}What time do you think|you're gonna come in, 12:00 ? {2308}{2379}Be there by 12:00 ? Where ? {2381}{2469}Swear you'll be there by 12:00|and I'll do it. {2471}{2533}12:00, or l walk. {2747}{2808}[ Slurping ] {3469}{3567} it's a meaningless end|to the story {3569}{3674} Got no time|for the forgotten glory {3676}{3775} And now just|when l know what I'm after {3777}{3876} it just brings me to laughter {3878}{3975}- Just save up|all your nickels and dimes |- [ Engine Starts ] {3977}{4096}- Let's see what you find|and you know |- [ Tires Screeching ] {4098}{4204} I guess I'm livin' day to day {4206}{4321} Just in case you feel|led astray, hell, yeah {4323}{4408} I guess I'm livin' day to day {4409}{4488} Hear what l say, yeah {4490}{4604} Just save up|all your nickels and dimes {4606}{4696} Let's see what you find|and you know {4906}{4992} I'd just die for a piece|of that pie but {4993}{5112} I'll be glad to just feast|on that pie crust {5114}{5209} And now just|when l know what I'm after {5211}{5292}- it just brings me to laughter |- Shit ! {5294}{5405} Just save up|all your nickels and dimes {5407}{5533} Let's see what you find|and you know {5535}{5633} I guess I'm livin' day to day {5635}{5750} Just so glad to be led astray|Hell, yeah {5752}{5817} I guess I'm livin' day to day {5819}{5879} Hear what l say {5881}{5943} Well {6729}{6837} it's a meaningless end|to the story {6839}{6937} Got no time|for the forgotten glory {6939}{7033} And now just|when l know what I'm after {7035}{7147} it just brings me to laughter {7149}{7250} Just save up|all your nickels and dimes {7251}{7366} Let's see what you find|and you know {7368}{7467} I guess I'm livin' day to day {7468}{7537} Just hopin' to be led astray {7539}{7600} Hell, yeah {7604}{7650} I guess I'm livin' day to day {7652}{7742} Hear what l say|Oh, yeah {7744}{7821}- Ooh-hoo |- Thanks. Have a good one. {7823}{7881}- Do you mind if l drink this here ?|- Sure. Go ahead. {7883}{7931}- You open ?|- Yeah. {7969}{8034}- Pack of cigarettes.|- Are you sure ? {8036}{8092}- Am l sure about what ?|- Are you sure ? {8094}{8171}- About what ?|- Do you really wanna buy|those cigarettes ? {8173}{8238}- Are you serious ?|- How long you been smoking ? {8240}{8309}- What is this, a poll ?|- How long you been a smoker ? {8311}{8378}I don't know.|Since l was about 13. {8380}{8457}Thirteen.|Let's see, you're about 19, 20 ? {8459}{8544}- Am l right ?|- What in the hell is that ? {8545}{8658}That's your lung.|By this time, your lung looks like this. {8660}{8741}- You've gotta be shitting me.|- You think I'm shitting you ? {8743}{8804}- Here.|- What's this ? {8806}{8843}A trach ring. {8845}{8925}It's what they install in your throat|when cancer takes your voice box. {8927}{9012}-This one came out of a 60-year-old man.|-Oh, God ! {9014}{9079}He smoked until the day he died. {9081}{9162}- Used to put the cigarette | in this and smoke that way. | - Excuse me, but-- {9164}{9213}This is where you're heading. {9214}{9271}Cruddy lung, | smoking through a hole in your throat. {9273}{9342}- Do you really want that ? | - lf it's already too late, l guess-- {9344}{9392}No, it's never too late. {9394}{9466}Put the cigarettes back, | and try some gum instead. {9468}{9542}- Here. Chewlies gum. Try this. | - it's not the same. {9544}{9630}It's cheaper than cigarettes, | and it certainly beats this. {9631}{9723}-Oh, Jesus !|-it's a picture of a cancer-ridden lung. {9725}{9775}Keep it. {9777}{9849}- I'll just take the gum.|- Fifty-five. {9851}{9928}You made a very wise choice.|Keep up the good work. {9993}{10087}If you're gonna drink that coffee,|I think you oughta take it outside, huh? {10089}{10153}I think I'll drink it in here.|Thanks. {10155}{10254}If you're gonna drink it in here,|I'd appreciate it|if you don't bother the customers. {10255}{10341}Okay.|I'm sorry about that. {10372}{10479}- Pack of cigarettes. What's that ?|- This ? {10481}{10542}How long you been smoking ? {10624}{10712} Kill the drummer {10714}{10842} Kill the bass player|Kill both bass players {10843}{10933} This song is the reason|why I'm now going deaf {10935}{11034}Let's kick some ass ! Yeah ! {11212}{11286}I feel good today, Silent Bob.|We're gonna make some money. {11288}{11361}And you know what we're gonna do ?|We're gonna go to that party|and get some pussy. {11363}{11428}I'm gonna fuck this bitch,|I'm gonna fuck this bitch. {11430}{11520}I'll fuck anything that moves ! {11522}{11586}What the fuck you lookin' at ?|I'll kick your fuckin' ass ! {11588}{11670}Shit, yeah. Don't that motherfucker|owe me ten bucks ? {11672}{11783}You know, tonight we're going|to rip off this fucker's head,|take out his fuckin' soul. {11784}{11833}Remind me|if he wants to buy something. {11834}{11883}I'm gonna shit|in the motherfucker's bag. {11884}{11991}- [ Girl Laughing ]|- What's up, baby ? What's up, sluts ? {11993}{12072}Yeah. So, Bob, you're a rude|motherfucker, you know that ? {12074}{12158}You're cute as hell.|I could go down on you, suck you, {12160}{12237}Line up three other guys,|make like a circus seal. {12239}{12316}Hey, what're you, a fucking faggot ?|I hate guys. {12318}{12377}I love women ! {12378}{12427}What you want, Grizzly Adams ? {12428}{12550}You're spending what, 20, maybe 30|dollars a week on your cigarettes ? {12552}{12604}- Yeah.|- Forty.|- Fifty-three. {12606}{12683}Fifty-three dollars a week|on cigarettes ! Come on ! {12685}{12750}Would you give somebody|that much money each week to kill you ? {12752}{12857}That's what you're doing now by paying|for this so-called privilege to smoke ! {12859}{12909}We're gonna croak sometime. {12911}{13024}It's that mentality that allows|the cancer-producing industry to thrive. {13026}{13128}Of course we're all gonna die someday !|Do we have to pay for it ? {13130}{13203}Do we have to actually throw hard-earned|dollars down on the counter... {13205}{13278}and say, ""Please,|Mr. Merchant of Death, sir, please, {13280}{13357}""sell me something that will|stink up my breath and clothes, {13359}{13435}- and fry my lungs !""|- [ Dante ] Now, wait a second. {13437}{13535}Here comes the speech about how he's|just doing his job by following orders. {13537}{13633}Let me tell you|about another group of hate-mongers|that were just following orders. {13635}{13695}- Who's that ?|- They were called Nazis ! {13697}{13745}- Yeah, that's right.|- Friggin' Nazi. {13747}{13808}They practically wiped|an entire nation off the Earth, {13810}{13858}Like your cigarettes are doing now ! {13860}{13941}- [ Dante ] l think you'd oughta leave.|- You want me to leave. Why ? {13943}{14054}'Cause somebody's telling it like it is,|giving these fine people a wake-up call? {14056}{14139}- Yeah.|- No, you're loitering|and causing a disturbance. {14141}{14208}I'm a disturbance ?|You're the disturbance, pal. {14210}{14319}Here, now l am a customer.|I'm gonna buy some Chewlies gum. {14321}{14411}I'm a customer engaged in a discussion|with the other customers. {14413}{14482}- That's right.|- Smoke my big fat cock ! {14484}{14578}He's scared now|'cause he sees the threat we present. {14580}{14647}He smells the change is coming ! {14649}{14741}You definitely are the source|in this area, and we're gonna|shut you down for good ! {14743}{14792}For good, cancer merchant ! {14793}{14862}[ Chanting ]|Cancer merchant ! Cancer merchant ! {14984}{15038}Who's leading this mob ? {15040}{15118}[ Coughing ]|That guy. {15120}{15178}- [ Coughing Continues ]|- [ Woman ] Freeze ! {15335}{15420}Let's see some credentials.|Slowly ! {15501}{15571}- You're a Chewlies gum representative ?|- [ Man ] Chewlies ? {15572}{15687}You're stirring up anti-smoking|sentiment to, what, sell more gum ? {15689}{15746}Get out of here ! {15747}{15867}And you people-- Don't you have jobs|to go to ? Get out of here. Go commute. {15868}{15967}You oughta be ashamed of yourselves.|A bunch of easily led automatons. {15969}{16071}Try thinking for yourselves before you|pelt an innocent man with cigarettes ! {16073}{16192}[ Coughing, Clears Throat ] {16194}{16259}Uh, pack of cigarettes ? {16478}{16533}Don't you think you're taking|this a bit too hard ? {16535}{16659}I have enough indignities in my life and|people start throwing cigarettes at me. {16661}{16734}- At least they weren't lit.|- Oh, l hate this fucking place. {16736}{16797}Then quit.|You should be going to school anyway. {16799}{16855}Please, Veronica, at this point,|the last thing l need is a lecture. {16857}{16930}All I'm saying is, if you're|that unhappy, you should leave. {16932}{17005}-I'm not even supposed to be here today!|-l know. {17007}{17084}I stopped by your house. Your mom told|me you left, like, at 6:00 or something. {17086}{17155}The guy got sick.|He couldn't come in. {17157}{17226}- Don't you have a hockey game at 2:00 ?|- Yes. {17228}{17312}And I'm gonna play like shit because|I didn't have a good night's sleep. {17314}{17375}- Why'd you agree to come in then ?|- Hey, I'm only here until 12:00. {17377}{17433}After that, I'm gone.|The boss comes in. {17435}{17533}- Why don't you open the shutters?|Get some sunlight in here.|- Someone jammed gum in the locks. {17535}{17610}- You're kidding.|- Bunch of savages in this town. {17745}{17833}- Thanks.|- How much money did you leave up there? {17835}{17910}Like, three dollars in mixed change|and a couple of singles. {17912}{17984}This time in the morning,|people just get a paper or coffee. {17986}{18050}- You're trusting.|- Why do you say that ? {18052}{18152}How do you know they're taking|the right amount of change|or even paying for what they take ? {18154}{18221}Theoretically, people see money|on the counter, no one around, {18223}{18272}they think they're being watched. {18273}{18326}Honesty through paranoia. {18328}{18380}Why do you smell like shoe polish ? {18382}{18443}I needed shoe polish|to make that sign out there. {18444}{18522}- Smell won't come off.|- [ Door Opens ] {18524}{18584}You think anybody|can see us down here ? {18585}{18635}Why, you wanna have sex or something ? {18636}{18689}- Can we ?|- Really ? {18690}{18768}- l was kidding.|- Like you can't get enough of me. {18770}{18854}- Typically male point of view.|- How do you figure ? {18856}{18937}Show some bedroom proficiency,|you think you're gods. {18939}{18996}What about what we do for you ? {18997}{19100}Women as lovers are basically the same;|they just have to be there. {19102}{19175}- Be there ?|- Making a male climax|isn't at all challenging. {19177}{19275}Insert somewhere close,|preferably moist, thrust, repeat. {19277}{19325}How flattering. {19327}{19400}Now, making a woman come,|therein lies a challenge. {19402}{19441}You think so ? {19443}{19519}A woman makes a guy come,|it's standard. {19521}{19585}A guy makes a woman come,|it's talent. {19587}{19655}- And l actually date you ?|- Something wrong ? {19656}{19767}I'm insulted. Believe me, Don Juan, it|takes more than that to get a guy off. {19769}{19838}Just being there, as you put it,|is not enough. {19840}{19888}Hmm, I've touched a nerve. {19890}{19951}I'm astonished to hear you|you trivialize my role in our sex life. {19953}{20017}It wasn't directed at you.|I was making a broad generalization. {20019}{20080}You're making a generalization|about broads. {20082}{20143}Those are my opinions|based on the few women... {20144}{20193}who were goodly enough|to sleep with me. {20194}{20247}- How many ?|- How many what ? {20249}{20316}How many different girls|have you slept with ? {20318}{20387}- Didn't we have|this discussion once before ?|- We might have. {20389}{20466}- l don't remember. How many ?|- including you ? {20468}{20533}It better be up to and including me. {20535}{20622}- Twelve.|- You slept with 12 different girls ? {20624}{20679}Including you ? Yes. {20681}{20729}- Ow ! What'd you do that for ?|- You're a pig ! {20731}{20804}- Why'd you hit me ?|- Do you know how many different men|I've had sex with ? {20806}{20854}Do l get to hit you after you tell me ? {20856}{20896}- Three.|- Three ? {20898}{20971}- Three, including you.|- You only slept|with three different people ? {20973}{21021}- I'm not the pig you are.|- Who ? {21023}{21094}- You !|- No, who are the three, besides me. {21096}{21179}- John Francin and Rob Stanslik.|- Wow. {21181}{21259}That's why you should feel like a pig.|You men make me feel sick. {21260}{21346}- You'll sleep with anything|that says yes.|- Animal, mineral or vegetable. {21348}{21384}Vegetable, meaning paraplegic. {21386}{21442}They put up|the least amount of struggle. {21444}{21509}After dropping a bombshell like that,|you owe me big. {21511}{21547}Name it. {21548}{21597}I want you to come with me on Monday. {21598}{21647}- Where ?|- To school. {21648}{21716}There's a seminar about getting|back into a scholastic program... {21718}{21766}after a lapse in enrollment. {21768}{21807}Can't we ever have a discussion|without that coming up ? {21809}{21858}It's important to me, Dante. {21859}{21937}You have so much potential|that's going to waste in this pit. {21939}{22020}- l wish you'd go back to school.|- Stop. You're making my head hurt. {22022}{22096}-Shit ! Why're you getting up ?|-Unlike you, l have class in 45 minutes. {22151}{22200}Willam ? {22201}{22263}Hey, Ronni.|How you been, man ? {22265}{22337}What, do you work here now ? {22338}{22421}No, l was visiting my man. {22422}{22512}Dante, this is Willam Black.|This is Dante Hicks, my boyfriend. {22514}{22625}- How you doing ? Just the soda ?|- No, and a pack of cigarettes. {22627}{22729}So where you been, man ?|Still going to Seton Hall ? {22731}{22839}No, l transferred into Monmouth|this year. l was tired of missing him. {22840}{22921}That's beautiful, man. {22923}{22979}So, you still talk to Silvan ? {22981}{23059}I just talked to her on Monday.|We still hang out on weekends. {23061}{23109}Oh, that's great. {23111}{23206}Well, you two lovebirds|take it easy, okay ? {23207}{23282}Bye. Take it easy. {23284}{23376}- [ Ronni ] That was Snowball.|- Why do you call him that ? {23378}{23471}Silvan made it up.|It's a blow job thing. {23473}{23521}What do you mean ? {23523}{23612}After the blow job, he likes to have it|spit back into his mouth while kissing. {23614}{23662}It's called snowballing. {23664}{23733}- He requests this ?|- He gets off on it. {23735}{23816}- Silvan can be talked into anything.|- Why do you say that ? {23818}{23879}Like you said, she snowballed him. {23881}{23983}- Silvan ? No, l snowballed him.|- Yeah, right. {23985}{24037}I'm serious. {24039}{24129}- You sucked that guy's dick ?|- Yeah. How do you think l knew-- {24131}{24225}You said you only had sex|with three different guys !|You never mentioned him ! {24227}{24296}- Because l never had sex with him.|- You sucked his dick ! {24298}{24371}We went out a few times.|We never had sex, but we fooled around. {24373}{24450}Oh, my God. Why did you tell me|you only had sex with three guys ? {24452}{24513}Because l did|only have sex with three guys. {24515}{24600}- it doesn't mean|I didn't just go with people.|- Oh, my God, l feel so nauseous ! {24602}{24651}I'm sorry, Dante.|I thought you understood. {24652}{24690}I did understand ! {24692}{24766}I understood that you had sex with|three guys and that's all you said ! {24767}{24816}- Please calm down.|- How many ? {24817}{24874}- Dante, let it go !|- How many dicks have you sucked ? {24876}{24941}Shut up a second and I'll tell you.|Jesus ! {24943}{25011}I didn't freak out like this when|you told me how many girls you fucked ! {25013}{25079}This is different. This is important.|How many ? {25335}{25383}Well ? {25424}{25537}- Something like 36.|- What ? Something like 36 ? {25539}{25608}- Lower your voice.|- What is that-- ""Something like 36"" ? {25610}{25658}Does that include me ? {25689}{25754}- Uh... 37.|- I'm 37 ? {25756}{25837}- I'm going to class.|- Oh, my God. {25839}{25944}- 37 ! My girlfriend sucked 37 dicks!|- in a row ? {25946}{26029}- Where you going ?|- Hey, listen, jerk.|Until today, you never even knew... {26031}{26100}how many guys l slept with|because you never even bothered to ask. {26102}{26196}Then you act all nonchalant|about fucking 12 girls.|I never had sex with 12 guys ! {26198}{26271}- No, but you sucked enough dick !|- Yeah, l went down on a few guys. {26273}{26336}- A few ?|- One of those guys was you.|The last one, l might add. {26338}{26440}Which, if you're too stupid|to comprehend, means that|I've been faithful to you since we met. {26442}{26536}All the other guys|I went with before l met you.|If you want to have a complex, go ahead. {26538}{26624}But don't look at me like|I'm the town whore, because you|were plenty busy before you met me. {26626}{26720}Why did you suck their dick ?|Why couldn't you sleep with them|Like any other decent person ? {26722}{26770}Because going down isn't a big deal. {26772}{26845}I used to like a guy, we'd make out,|and sooner or later I'd go down on him. {26847}{26924}- But l only had sex|with the guys l loved.|- l feel sick. {26926}{26975}I love you !|Don't feel sick. {26976}{27033}Every time l kiss you,|I'm gonna taste 36 other guys. {27035}{27117}- I'm going to school. Maybe later|you'll be a bit more rational.|- I'm 37 ! l just can't-- {27119}{27167}Good-bye, Dante ! {27235}{27329}Hey, try not to suck any dick|on the way through the parking lot ! {27331}{27394}Hey ! Hey, you !|Get back here. {27523}{27642}I thought that place was supposed|to be open at 11:00. it's 11:20. {27644}{27728}I've already called his house twice.|He'll be here soon. {27729}{27819}Hey, it's not like|it's a demanding job over there. {27821}{27886}I'd like to get paid|to sit on my ass and watch TV. {27888}{27961}I walked in the other day,|that son of a bitch was sleeping. {27963}{28032}- I'm sure he wasn't sleeping.|- Are you calling me a liar ? {28034}{28131}- Are you calling me a liar ?|- No ! He was probably|just resting his eyes. {28132}{28191}What the hell is that,|""resting his eyes"" ? {28192}{28289}- Like he's some air traffic controller?|- Actually, that's his night job. {28291}{28377}Wise ass too, huh ?|Go ahead. Keep cracking wise. {28378}{28462}That's why you're jockeying a register|in some fuckin' convenience store... {28464}{28520}instead of working at a steady job. {28522}{28616}I've got no time to bullshit around,|waiting for that son of a bitch. {28618}{28668}Make sure he gets that. {28670}{28770}The number's 812. My name's Wynarski.|I wanted a movie tonight. {28772}{28850}If you tell me the title of the movie,|he'll hold it for you. {28851}{28950}Don't hurt yourself, buddy.|I'll go to Big Choice Video instead. {29002}{29079}[ Door Opens, Closes ] {29081}{29147}You forgot your keys. {29429}{29511}- Guy ain't here yet.|- You're kidding ! it's almost 11:30. {29513}{29636}- I've been here since 11:00.|- l hate it when l can't rent videos ! {29638}{29720}I would've went to Big Choice, but the|tape l want is right there on that wall. {29721}{29772}- Which one ?|- Dental School. {29774}{29836}You came for that too ?|That's the movie l came for. {29838}{29887}- l have first dibs.|- Says who ? {29888}{29970}Says me. I've been here half an hour.|I'd call that first dibs. {29972}{30062}- Ain't gonna happen, my friend.|I'm getting that movie.|- Like hell you are. {30063}{30128}I'll bet you 20 bucks|you don't get to rent that tape. {30130}{30179}- Twenty bucks ?|- Twenty bucks. {30180}{30267}All right, asshole. You're on. {30677}{30725}You're late. {30727}{30808}- What the hell are you doing here ?|- The boss called. Arthur fell ill. {30810}{30875}- Why are the shutters closed ?|- Someone jammed gum in the locks. {30877}{30942}- Bunch of savages in this town.|- That's what l said. {30944}{31023}If I'd known you were here,|I'd have come even later. {31025}{31099}- What smells like shoe polish ?|- Go open the store. {31202}{31304}-Hey, you see a set of keys around here?|-No time for love, Dr. Jones. {31346}{31405}Fucking kids. {31940}{32014}Some guy just came in|refusing to pay late fees. {32015}{32101}Said the store was closed for two hours|yesterday. l tore up his membership. {32103}{32139}Shocking abuse of authority. {32141}{32198}I'm a firm believer|in the philosophy of a ruling class, {32200}{32248}especially since l rule. {32250}{32346}- [ Randal ]|Want something to drink ? I'm buying.|- [ Dante ] No, thanks. {32347}{32404}Who was on your phone|this morning, like, 2:30 ? {32406}{32467}- l was trying to call for half an hour.|- Why ? {32468}{32551}I wanted to use your car.|Snack cake. {32553}{32604}You don't wanna know. {32606}{32654}- You call Caitlin again ?|- She called me. {32656}{32746}- You tell Veronica ?|- One fight a day with Veronica|is all l can stomach, thanks. {32748}{32817}- What do you fight about ?|- We don't fight about anything. {32819}{32892}She wants me to leave here and go|back to school and get some direction. {32894}{32971}- l bet the most frequent topic|of arguments is Caitlin Bree.|- You win. {32973}{33046}I'm going to offer you some advice,|my friend. Let the past be the past. {33048}{33113}Forget Caitlin Bree.|You been with Veronica how long now ? {33115}{33171}- Seven months.|- Chick's nuts about you. {33173}{33226}- How long you date Caitlin ?|- Five years. {33227}{33288}Chick only made you nuts, man.|She cheated on you how many times ? {33290}{33338}- Eight and a half.|- Eight and a half ? {33340}{33423}Party at John Kay's, senior year;|I get blitzed, pass out in his bedroom. {33425}{33493}-Caitlin comes in and jumps all over me.|-So that's cheating ? {33494}{33580}- No.|In the middle of it she called me Brad.|- She called you Brad ? {33582}{33655}That's not cheating.|People say crazy shit during sex. {33657}{33730}- One time, l called this girl ""mom.""|- l hit the light, she freaks. {33732}{33801}- She thought l was Brad Michelson.|- What do you mean ? {33803}{33875}She was supposed to meet Brad in a|dark bedroom. She picked the wrong one. {33876}{33929}- She didn't even know|I was at the party.|- Oh, my God. {33931}{33992}- Great story, huh ?|- That girl was vile to you. {33993}{34075}Interesting postscript to that story.|Do you know who wound up|in that bedroom with Brad ? {34077}{34125}- Your mother ?|- Alan Harris. {34127}{34191}- Chess team Alan Harris ?|- The two moved to Idaho together. {34193}{34229}They raise sheep. {34231}{34296}- That's frightening.|- Takes different strokes|to move the world. {34298}{34346}In light of this lurid tale,|I don't see... {34348}{34396}how you could romanticize|your relationship with Caitlin. {34398}{34471}She broke your heart and inadvertently|drove men to deviant lifestyles. {34473}{34521}There was a lot of good|in our relationship. {34523}{34571}Aside from the cheating,|we were a great couple. {34573}{34663}That's what high school was about:|algebra, bad lunch and infidelity. {34665}{34730}- You think things|will be different this time ?|- They are. {34731}{34813}When she calls me now,|she's a different person.|She's frightened, vulnerable. {34815}{34909}She's finishing college|and about to enter the real world.|That's scary for anyone. {34911}{34976}- Shit, l gotta place an order.|- Talkin' to myself here. {34978}{35063}- I'm listening.|She's leaving college and--|- And she's looking for support. {35065}{35151}- l think this is leading|our relationship to a new level.|- What about Veronica ? {35153}{35226}I think the arguments Veronica and l are|having are some kind of manifestation... {35228}{35280}of a subconscious desire|to break up with her, {35282}{35343}so l can pursue a more meaningful|relationship with Caitlin. {35345}{35412}- Caitlin's on the same wavelength ?|- it's safe to say yes. {35414}{35491}- l think all four of you|better sit down and talk it over.|- All four ? {35493}{35600}You, Veronica, Caitlin|and Caitlin's fiancé. {35830}{35925}- Do you sell video tapes ?|- Yeah. What are you looking for ? {35927}{36004}- Happy Scrappy Hero Pup.|- Uh, one second. {36006}{36092}I'm on the phone|with the distribution house.|Let me make sure they got it. {36094}{36164}- What's it called again ?|- Happy Scrappy Hero Pup. {36166}{36267}- [ Child ] Happy Scrappy--|- She loves it.|- Obviously. {36269}{36371}This is RST Video calling.|Customer number 4352. {36373}{36430}I'd like to place an order. {36431}{36488}I need one each of the following tapes: {36490}{36540}Whispers in The Wind,|To Each His Own, {36542}{36622}Put it Where it Doesn't Belong,|My Pipes Need Cleaning, {36623}{36705}All Tit Fucking, Volume Eight,|I Need Your Cock, {36707}{36793}Ass Worshipping Rim Jobbers,|My Cunt And Eight Shafts, {36794}{36902}Cum Clean, Cum Gargling Naked Sluts,|Cum Buns III, {36904}{36974}Cumming in Socks,|Cum On ilene, {36976}{37029}Huge Black Cocks|With Pearly White Cum, {37031}{37101}Girls Who Crave Cock,|Girls Who Crave Cunt, {37103}{37195}Men Alone II: The KY Connection,|Pink Pussy Lips, {37197}{37275}oh, yeah, and, uh,|All Holes Filled with Hard Cock. {37276}{37377}Yup. Oh, wait a minute.|What was that called again ? {37379}{37417} I'm a needle, you know {37419}{37533} Never want to be a haystack {37535}{37617} Don't ever want to break|your heart in two {37619}{37708} Know the crowd|is gonna sell their soul {37710}{37788} Take it anywhere l know|Well, l promise you {37790}{37843} it's making me sick {37877}{37965}Yes, I'd like to check on|a misprint in today's edition. {37967}{38021}Today's edition. {38023}{38117}It says,|""Bree to wed Asian design major."" {38119}{38167}No, everything's spelled fine. {38169}{38249}I was just wondering|if the article was a misprint. {38251}{38318}I don't know,|Like a typographical error or something. {38320}{38439}Maybe it should say, ""Caitlin Bray""|or ""Caitlin Bre"" with one ""E."" {38441}{38562}I'm a curious party.|A curious party. {38564}{38624}I'm an ex-boyfriend, and, well, {38626}{38695}I talk to her all the time|and she never mentioned this engagement. {38697}{38773}That's why I'm thinking|maybe it's a misprint. {38813}{38938}Are you sure ? Maybe there's|a vindictive printer working for you. {38940}{39041}Meaning like, someone who asked her out|once and got shot down, {39043}{39156}and this is his revenge|by putting this bogus article|in the paper when it went to press. {39158}{39219}Hello. Hello ? {39385}{39445}- [ Sniffing ]|- [ Cat Meows ] {39447}{39542}I don't care if she's my cousin, I'm|gonna knock those boots again tonight. {39544}{39638}- Look who it is.|The fuckin' human vacuum.|- Scumbag, what are you doing ? {39640}{39709}- Just hanging|with Silent Bob and his cousin.|- He's your cousin ? {39711}{39763}- He's from Russia too.|- No way. {39765}{39862}- What part of Russia ?|- l don't know. Do l look|Like his fuckin' biographer ? {39863}{39970}-Olaf, what part of Russia are you from?|-Moscow. {39972}{40070}-He only speaks Russian ?|-He speaks some English,|but he cannot speak it good like we do. {40072}{40149}- Is he staying here ?|- Nah, he's moving|to the big city this week. {40151}{40208}- He wants to be a metal singer.|- [ Girl ] No way. {40209}{40274}I swear. Olaf, metal. {40276}{40370}That's his fucking metal face.|Olaf, girl nice ? {40372}{40439}- [ Speaks Russian ]|- That's fucked up, man. {40440}{40525}- What did he say ?|- l don't know, man,|but this guy's a character. {40526}{40604}- He really wants to play metal ?|- Yeah, he's got his own band in Moscow. {40606}{40696}- it's called ""Fuck Your|Yankee Blue Jeans"" or something.|- That doesn't sound metal. {40697}{40779}You gotta hear him sing.|Olaf, ""Berserker."" {40781}{40875}- Come on, man, ""Berserker"" !|- Does he sing in English or Russian ? {40877}{40953}In English. Come on, ""Berserker.""|Girls think sexy. {40989}{41081}- Aah. Aah.|- Watch, he's gonna sing it.|It's too funny. {41083}{41198} My love for you|is like a truck, berserker {41200}{41305} Would you like|some making fuck, berserker {41306}{41385}- That's fuckin' funny, man.|- Did he say, ""making fuck"" ? {41387}{41510}[ Science Fiction Movie Sounds,|Man Screaming ] {41512}{41572}[ Sounds Stop ] {41901}{42013} My love for you|is ticking clock, berserker {42015}{42139} Would you like|to suck my cock, berserker {42141}{42223}That's beautiful, man. {42307}{42379}Hold on to the counter|and I'll pull. {42381}{42458}Usually l just turn the can upside down. {42460}{42521}Maybe we oughta soap your hand up. {42523}{42604}They oughta put a warning on these|things, like they do with cigarettes. {42606}{42679}- l think it's coming !|- [ Falls On Floor ] {42727}{42813}Thanks. l thought l was going|to have to go to the hospital. {42815}{42882}I'll throw this out|as a precautionary measure. {42884}{42940}[ Chuckling ]|Stings a little. {42942}{43046}A little word of advice: Sometimes you|got to let those hard-to-reach chips go. {43048}{43099}- [ Door Opens ]|- Thanks. {43142}{43220}You know, that article's accurate.|Caitlin really is getting married. {43222}{43303}-You know what l just watched ?|-Me pulling a can off some moron's fist? {43305}{43420}- Return Of The Jedi.|- Didn't you hear me ?|Caitlin is really getting married. {43422}{43519}What did you like better:|Jedi or The Empire Strikes Back ? {43520}{43571}- Empire.|- Blasphemy. {43573}{43624}Empire had the better ending. {43626}{43733}I mean, Luke gets his hand cut off,|finds out Vader's his father. {43735}{43821}Han gets frozen, taken away by|Boba Fett. it ends on such a down note. {43822}{43908}I mean, that's what life is:|a series of down endings. {43910}{43975}All Jedi had was a bunch of Muppets. {43977}{44058}There was something else|going on in Jedi.|I never noticed it 'til today. {44060}{44117}- They build another Death Star, right ?|- Yeah. {44118}{44196}The first one|was completed and fully operational|before the rebels destroyed it. {44198}{44258}Luke blew it up.|Give credit where credit's due. {44260}{44348}- The second one was still|being built when they blew it up.|- Compliments of Lando Calrissian. {44350}{44419}Something just never sat right with me|that second time around. {44421}{44490}I could never put my finger on it,|but something just wasn't right. {44492}{44589}- And you figured it out.|- The first Death Star|was manned by the lmperial Army. {44590}{44679}The only people on board were Storm|Troopers, dignitaries, lmperialists. {44681}{44776}- Basically.|- So when they blew it up, no problem.|Evil's punished. {44778}{44870}- And the second time around ?|- it wasn't even done being built yet. {44872}{44928}- it was still under construction.|- So ? {44930}{44989}A construction job|of that magnitude would require... {44991}{45067}a lot more manpower|than the lmperial Army had to offer. {45068}{45137}I'll bet they brought independent|contractors in on that thing. {45139}{45208}- Plumbers, aluminum siders, roofers--|- Not just lmperialists. {45209}{45270}- Is that what you're getting at ?|- Exactly. {45272}{45341}To get it built quickly and quietly,|they'd hire anybody|that could do the job. {45343}{45408}You think the average Storm Trooper|knows how to install a toilet main ? {45410}{45525}- All they know is killing.|- So they bring in|independent contractors. {45526}{45650}- Why are you so upset ?|- Those innocent contractors|brought in are killed, {45652}{45721}casualties of a war|they had nothing to do with. {45722}{45827}Look, you're a roofer. Some juicy|government contract comes your way. {45829}{45900}You got a wife and kids,|the two-story in suburbia. {45902}{45979}This is a government contract|which means all sorts of benefits. {45981}{46034}Along come these left-wing militants|who blast everything... {46036}{46086}within a three-mile radius|with their lasers. {46088}{46152}You didn't ask for that;|you had no personal politics. {46154}{46229}- You're just trying|to scrape out a living.|- l don't mean to interrupt, {46231}{46305}- but what are you talking about ?|- The ending of Return Of The Jedi. {46306}{46424}My friend is trying to convince me|that independent contractors|working on the Death Star... {46426}{46490}were innocent victims|when it was destroyed by the rebels. {46492}{46559}I'm a contractor myself.|I'm a roofer. {46561}{46609}""Done And Ready Home improvements."" {46611}{46692}Speaking as a roofer, l can tell you|a roofer's personal politics... {46694}{46772}- comes into play heavily|when choosing jobs.|- Like when ? {46773}{46859}Three weeks ago, l was offered a job|up in the hills. Beautiful house. {46861}{46934}Tons of property.|A simple re-shingling job. {46936}{47029}They told me if l could finish it|in one day, l would double my price. {47030}{47096}- Then l realized whose house it was.|- [ Dante ] Whose house was it ? {47098}{47197}- Dominic Bambino's.|- Baby Face Bambino ? The gangster ? {47199}{47297}The same ! The money was right,|but the risk was too high. {47299}{47400}I knew who he was, and based on that,|I turned the job over to a friend. {47402}{47466}- Based on personal politics.|- Right ! {47468}{47575}The next week, the Foresie family|put a hit on Baby Face's house. {47577}{47693}- My friend was shot and killed.|Didn't even finish re-shingling.|- No way. {47694}{47794}I'm alive because l knew the risk|involved in that particular client. {47796}{47845}My friend wasn't so lucky. {47846}{47948}Any contractor working on that|Death Star knew the risk involved. {47950}{48015}If they got killed,|it's their own fault. {48016}{48092}A roofer listens to this,|not his wallet. {48348}{48455}They say so much, but they never|tell you if it's any good. {48532}{48614}Are either one of these any good ? {48615}{48664}- Sir ?|- What ? {48665}{48760}- Are either one of these any good ?|- l don't watch movies. {48761}{48845}[ Sighs ] Well, have you heard anything|about either one of them ? {48847}{48929}I find it's best to stay out|of other people's affairs. {48931}{49029}You mean you haven't heard anybody|say anything about either one of these ? {49031}{49079}Nope. {49081}{49129}[ Sighs ] {49183}{49267}- Well, what about these two ?|- They suck. {49268}{49354}[ Sighs ]|These are the same two movies. {49356}{49444}- You weren't paying any attention.|- No, l wasn't. {49446}{49508}I don't think your manager|would appreciate it-- {49510}{49584}- l don't appreciate your ruse, ma'am.|- l beg your pardon ? {49585}{49675}Your ruse.|Your cunning attempt to trick me. {49677}{49784}I was only pointing out that|you weren't paying any attention|to what l was saying. {49786}{49834}And l hope it feels good. {49836}{49922}- You hope what feels good ?|- l hope it feels so good to be right. {49923}{49972}There's nothing more exhilarating... {49974}{50026}than pointing out|the shortcomings of others, is there ? {50028}{50109}[ Heavy Sigh ] Well, this is|the last time l rent here ! {50111}{50193}- You will be missed.|- Screw you ! {50247}{50358}- Hey, you're not allowed|to rent here anymore !|- [ Jay ] Yeah ! {50360}{50408}Screw me ? {50731}{50804}- You'll never believe|what this unruly customer just said.|- Wait. {50806}{50890}- She in here ?|- This guy's going through all the eggs. {50892}{50956}This has been going on|for 20 minutes now. {50958}{51023}- What's he looking for ?|- Said he has to find the perfect dozen. {51025}{51096}- Perfect dozen ?|- Each egg has to be perfect. {51098}{51154}- The quest isn't going well ?|- Obviously not. {51156}{51240}- Look at all the cartons|that didn't make the grade.|- Why doesn't he mix and match ? {51242}{51304}- l told him that, and he yelled at me.|- What'd he say ? {51306}{51388}He said|it was important to have standards.|He says no one has any pride anymore. {51390}{51446}It's not like|you laid the eggs yourself. {51447}{51522}I give him five more minutes.|After that, I'm calling the cops. {51523}{51598}I don't need this.|I'm not even supposed to be here today. {51632}{51680}Two packs of cigarettes. {51748}{51837}- I'm as puzzled as you.|- I've actually seen it before. {51839}{51916}- You know him ?|- No, but l know the behavior. {51918}{51995}- Let me guess. He's looking|for the perfect carton of eggs ?|- [ Randal ] How'd you know ? {51997}{52091}- I'll bet you a million dollars|he's a guidance counselor.|- [ Dante ] Why do you say that ? {52093}{52194}I saw it happen in Food City,|Like, last year. Different guy, though. {52196}{52270}Stock boy said he'd been looking through|cartons of eggs for half an hour, {52272}{52335}doing all sorts|of endurance tests and stuff. {52337}{52396}I asked him why nobody ever called|the manager, and he said it happens... {52397}{52455}two, three times a week, sometimes more. {52457}{52512}- Get out of here.|- No, l kid you not. {52514}{52599}They call it shell shock. Seems to|only happen with guidance counselors. {52601}{52669}They used to make a big deal of it,|but they just let it go now... {52671}{52750}because they always pay|for whatever they break,|and they never bother anybody. {52752}{52800}Why guidance counselors ? {52802}{52875}If your job was as meaningless|as theirs, wouldn't you go crazy too ? {52877}{52964}- Come to think of it, my guidance|counselor was kinda worthless.|- See ? {52966}{53027}It's important to have a job|that makes a difference, boys. {53029}{53159}That's why l manually masturbate caged|animals for artificial insemination. {53223}{53297} Go your own way {53298}{53428} You can call it|another lonely day {54022}{54117}Did you ever notice|that all the prices end in ""9"" ? {54118}{54167}Damn, that's eerie. {54168}{54267}- Do you know how much the average|jiz-mopper makes per hour ?|- What's a jiz-mopper ? {54268}{54350}The guy that cleans up the nudie booths|after each guy jerks off. {54352}{54404}- ""Nudie booth"" ?|- Yeah, nudie booth. {54406}{54471}- You ever been in a nudie booth ?|- Guess not. {54473}{54521}Oh, man, it's great. {54523}{54584}You go into this booth, and there's|this glass between you and these chicks. {54585}{54667}- And they put on a show for you|for, like, ten bucks.|- What kind of a show ? {54669}{54746}Think of the weirdest, craziest shit|you'd like to see chicks do. {54748}{54841}These chicks do it all. They insert|things into any opening on their body. {54842}{54903}- Any opening.|- Can we not talk about this now ? {54905}{54982}The jiz-mopper's job is to clean it up|after each guy shoots a load. {54984}{55041}Practically everybody|does it right on the window. {55043}{55118}I don't know if you know this,|but cum leaves streaks|if you don't clean it right away. {55120}{55196}- l will never come to this place again.|- Excuse me ? {55198}{55294}Using filthy language in front of|the customers. You both should be fired. {55296}{55384}Oh, l-I'm sorry.|I guess we kinda got carried away. {55386}{55462}I don't know|if sorry can make up for it. {55464}{55534}You've highly offended me. {55536}{55612}Well, if you think that's offensive,|check this out. {55614}{55661}Oh !|[ Screaming ] {55662}{55731}- l think you can see her kidneys.|- Why do you do things like that ? {55732}{55804}- You know he's only going|to come back and tell the boss.|- Who cares ? {55806}{55879}That guy's an asshole. Everybody|that comes in here is way too uptight. {55881}{55954}This job would be great|if it wasn't for the fucking customers. {55956}{56038}- Jesus ! I'm gonna hear|from the boss tomorrow.|- Would you loosen up ? {56039}{56117}You'd feel a lot better if you'd just|rip into the occasional customer. {56119}{56192}Why ? l-l don't bother them|and they don't bother me. {56194}{56311}Liar ! Tell me there aren't|customers that annoy the piss|out of you on a daily basis. {56313}{56378}- There aren't !|- How can you lie like that ? {56380}{56520}Why don't you vent ? Vent your|frustrations. Who pisses you off ? {56522}{56607}Well, l guess it isn't|customers in particular. {56609}{56678}Maybe just a group of customers. {56680}{56788}- Well, let's hear it.|- Well, the Milk Maids. {56789}{56838}The Milk Maids ? {56839}{56941}The women that go through every gallon|of milk, looking for that later date, {56943}{57016}as if somewhere beyond all the other|gallons is a container of milk... {57018}{57085}that won't go bad for like a decade. {57087}{57191}You know who l can do without ?|The people in the video store. {57193}{57246}- Which ones ?|- All of 'em. {57248}{57341}What would you get for a six-year-old|boy who chronically wets his bed ? {57342}{57412}So, do you have any new movies in ? {57414}{57531}Do you have that one|with that guy who was in|that movie that was out last year ? {57533}{57581}They never rent quality flicks. {57583}{57663}They always pick the most intellectually|devoid movie on the racks. {57664}{57727}Oooh ! Navy SEALS ! {57729}{57817}It's like in order to join they have to|have an I.Q. less than their shoe size. {57819}{57919}You think you get stupid questions ?|You should hear the barrage that l get. {57921}{57983}What do you mean there's no ice ?|I've got to drink this coffee hot ? {57985}{58070}So, how much is this thing anyway ? {58126}{58193}Do you sell hubcaps|for a '72 Pinto hatchback ? {58195}{58243}Ooh ! Mini-Trucker magazine. {58245}{58320}-See? You vented. Don't you feel better?|-No. {58322}{58399}- Why not ?|- Because my ex-girlfriend|is getting married. {58401}{58486}Jesus, you got a one-track mind.|It's always Caitlin, Caitlin, Caitlin. {58488}{58536}Veronica ! {58584}{58666}- What happened to home by 12:00 ?|- Boss hasn't shown up yet. {58668}{58729}- How come you're not in class ?|- Lit. 101 got cancelled. {58730}{58816}- So l stopped home|and l brought you some lunch.|- What is it ? {58818}{58895}Peanut butter and jelly|with the crusts cut off.|What do you think it is ? {58897}{58966}- it's lasagna.|- Really ? {58968}{59029}Oh, you're the queen. {59031}{59104}I'm glad you calmed down a bit.|Hi, Randal. {59106}{59179}- Thirty-seven ?|- Shut up ! {59181}{59267}Yes, I've calmed down.|I'm not happy, but I'll be able to deal. {59268}{59373}- [ Sucking Sound ]|- Why don't you go back|to the video store ? {59484}{59574}- You had to tell him ?|- l had to tell someone.|He put it into perspective. {59575}{59649}- What did he say ?|- He said at least he wasn't 36. {59651}{59699}And that made you feel better ? {59701}{59786}And he said most of them were college|guys l never even seen or met before. {59788}{59866}- The ostrich syndrome:|If you don't see it--|- it isn't there. Yes. {59867}{59949}- Thank you for being rational.|- Thank you for the lasagna. {59951}{60003}- Couldn't get the shutters open ?|- No. {60005}{60078}I called the locksmith.|He said the earliest he could|be here is tomorrow morning. {60080}{60149}Bummer. Well, l gotta|head back for the 1:30 class. {60151}{60252}- What time you get finished ?|- 8:00, but l have|a sorority meeting 'til 9:00. {60254}{60320}So, I'll see you when you close then.|Can we go out for coffee ? {60322}{60370}- Sure.|- Good. {60372}{60429}See you when you close.|Enjoy the lasagna. {60430}{60516}[ Door Opens, Closes ] {60631}{60709}[ Sucking Sound ] {60868}{60917}Vermont ? {60918}{60998}No, that can't be.|I just talked to him this morning. {60999}{61067}He left at what time ? {61069}{61175}He really went to Vermont ? When|the hell was someone going to tell me? {61177}{61246}He promised me he'd be here by noon ! {61248}{61355}Jesus, when does he get back ? Tuesday ?|You've gotta be fucking kidding me ! {61356}{61417}I've got a hockey game at 2:00, and|the steel shutters are jammed closed. {61419}{61513}And he's in Vermont ?|I'm not even supposed to be here today ! {61515}{61576}[ Sighing ] {61602}{61662}So I'm stuck here until closing ? {61663}{61763}Oh, this is just great.|I can't fucking believe this. {61765}{61813}Th-- {61815}{61930}No. No, I'm sorry.|I didn't mean to yell at you. {61932}{61993}Yeah, l know. {61995}{62084}No, l-I'll be all right. {62086}{62155}Well, that's all l can do, right ?|Yeah. {62157}{62235}- All right, thanks. Bye.|- Vermont ? {62236}{62308}- Can you fucking believe this ?|- He didn't mention that to you|this morning ? {62310}{62379}Not a word !|Not a fucking word, that slippery shit. {62381}{62437}- So, what ? You're stuck here all day ?|- Fuck ! {62439}{62487}- Why'd you apologize ?|- What ? {62489}{62558}I heard you apologize. Why ? You had|every reason in the world to be mad. {62560}{62637}- l know !|- Jesus ! That seems to be|the leitmotif in your life. {62639}{62692}- Ever backing down.|- l don't back down ! {62694}{62758}You always back down.|You assume blame that's not yours. {62760}{62829}You come in on your day off;|you buckle like a belt. {62831}{62905}- You know what really pisses me off ?|- That I'm right about your buckling ? {62906}{62971}- I'm going to miss the fucking game !|- Because you buckled. {62973}{63055}- Shut up with that shit.|It ain't helping !|- Don't yell at me, pal. {63056}{63113}- I'm sorry.|- See ? There you go again. {63115}{63212}- l can't believe|I'm going to miss the fucking game.|- At least we're stuck here together. {63213}{63272}You got a customer. {63273}{63338}What ?|What do you want ? {63436}{63513}I can't fucking believe this. {63515}{63593}Yeah, hello, Sanford.|Dante. {63594}{63693}I can't play today.|I'm stuck at work. {63695}{63793}Yeah, l know I'm not scheduled today--|Forget it. {63795}{63912}Point is, l can't play today.|Neither can Randal. He's working too. {63947}{64042}Wait a second.|Do we have to play at the park ? {64044}{64112}Hold on.|You feeling limber ? {64374}{64446}- Pull my laces tighter, man.|- I've got to tell you, my friend, {64448}{64509}this is one of the most ballsiest moves|I've ever been privy to. {64510}{64584}I never thought you capable of such|a blatant disregard of store policy. {64585}{64659}- l told him l had a game today.|It's his own fault.|- No arguments here. {64661}{64738}- insubordination rules.|- l just want to play hockey|Like l was scheduled to. {64740}{64826}- I'm gonna grab a Gatorade.|- lf you grab a Gatorade,|then everybody's gonna grab one. {64827}{64884}- So ?|- Who's gonna pay for these Gatorades ? {64886}{64959}- What do you care,|you shoe polish-smelling motherfucker ?|- l have a responsibility here. {64961}{65034}- l can't have everybody|grabbing free drinks.|- What responsibility ? {65036}{65109}- You're closing the store|to play hockey.|- He's blunt, but he's got a point. {65111}{65176}Will you let me maintain|some semblance of managerial control ? {65178}{65239}No, I'm sayin'|if you're gonna be insubordinate,|might as well go the full nine, {65240}{65289}not pussy out|when it comes to free shit to drink. {65290}{65362}- He's right. As if we're going|to have a run on Gatorade.|- Fuckin' A. {65364}{65412}All right !|Jesus, you fuckers are pushy ! {65414}{65495}- l hear Caitlin's|marrying an Asian drum major.|- Design major. {65497}{65550}- Can we not talk about this ?|- Fine by me. {65551}{65621}But you're living in denial|and suppressing rage, motherfucker. {65622}{65691}- You going to lock the store ?|- l don't know.|You're going to lock the video store ? {65693}{65754}Look who you're asking here.|How're we gonna block the street ? {65756}{65862}- We're not playing in the street.|- Then where are we gonna play ? {66015}{66070}Hit 'em, hit 'em, hit 'em ! {66381}{66467}[ Yelling ] {66709}{66784}I got it ! l got it !|It's mine, it's mine ! {67014}{67062}Yeah ! {67090}{67150}[ Yelling Continues ] {67276}{67325}Hit 'em ! {67377}{67431}All right, here we go.|I got it. {67432}{67487}- When is this period over ?|- Eight more minutes. {67489}{67558}What, are you shitting me ?|I wanna get cigarettes. {67560}{67646}- Just wait a few minutes.|- I'm gonna break my crazy neck|on this ladder. {67648}{67728}Now, lose the skates, Dorothy Hamill,|and open the fucking store ! {67729}{67792}- Dante, where are you ?|- He's busy !|- in a second ! {67794}{67888}Fuck ""in a second"" !|Oh, look at you. You can't even pass. {67890}{67967}- [ Dante ] l can pass !|- How about covering the point ?|Man, you suck ! {67969}{68055}- Who are you to make assessments ?|- I'll assess all l want, pal ! {68056}{68151}- Dante, you in or out ?|- Don't pass to this guy.|He sucks. You suck ! {68152}{68217}- Like you're any better ?|- l can whip your ass any day, pal. {68219}{68292}- Easy to say over there.|- Give me a stick, pretty boy ! {68294}{68373}I'll knock your fucking teeth out|and pass all over your ass ! {68375}{68423}- You open ?|- Yeah, you open ? {68425}{68507}[ Together ]|No ! {68509}{68570}All right, there's a stick over there.|You're shooting up against this goal. {68572}{68633}Hey, Redding ! Come on.|Get this fucker ! {68949}{68989}Oh, man ! Hey ! {68991}{69065}Come on. Let's go, let's go !|Come on, come on. Get him ! {69067}{69117}Come on. Get him, get him ! {69434}{69542}- Give me another ball.|- There are no more. {69544}{69609}What the fuck you talking about ?|How many balls you bring ? {69610}{69700}I brought the orange one|and... the orange one. {69702}{69761}Hey, any balls down there ? {69763}{69862}[ Jay ] About the biggest pair|you ever seen, dingleberry. {69863}{69943}- You only brought one ball ?|- l thought Redding|brought all the balls. {69945}{70016}- [ Redding ] Dante had the balls.|- Nobody has another ball ? {70018}{70066}Shit ! {70068}{70174}We got what, 12 minutes of a game|and it's over ? Fuck ! {70176}{70270}Fuck, fuck, fuck !|I'm not even supposed to be here today. {70318}{70390}I still get free Gatorade, right ? {70660}{70737}- Be careful.|- I'm trying. {70739}{70837}You know, the insides of those has|got stuff that can give you cancer. {70839}{70900}- So I'm told.|- Yeah. {70902}{70996}I had a friend that chewed glass|for a living. in the circus. {70998}{71084}- And he got cancer|from chewing fluorescent bulb glass ?|- Nah. {71085}{71179}- Got hit by a bus.|- Oh. Can l help you ? {71231}{71349}Well, uh, that depends.|You got maybe a toilet in here ? {71351}{71428}- Yeah, but it's for employees only.|- l understand. {71430}{71516}But l, uh, thought maybe|you'd let me use it anyway. {71517}{71624}I'm not so young anymore and I'm,|how do you say, a little incontinent. {71626}{71728}- Sure. in the back, through the cooler.|- Thank you, sonny boy. {71980}{72077}Say, uh, what kind of toilet paper|you got back there ? {72079}{72158}- The white kind.|- l didn't ask about the color. {72160}{72250}I mean, is it rough|or is it cottony ? {72251}{72322}- Actually, it's kinda rough.|- Oh, boy ! {72324}{72408}It's gonna knock the hell|out of my hemorrhoids. {72410}{72492}I thought maybe you could|Let me have a roll of the soft stuff. {72493}{72558}I see you sell|the soft stuff back there. {72560}{72629}- Yeah, but--|- Come on, boitshik !|What's the difference ? {72631}{72714}You said yourself|you have the rough stuff in the back. {72716}{72783}- Yeah, sure. Go ahead.|- Thank you, sonny boy. {72785}{72834}You're a lifesaver. {73051}{73115}Say, young fella,|I hate to bother you again, {73117}{73207}but, uh, maybe l could have something|in the back there to read ? {73209}{73257}A paper or something ? {73259}{73316}Sometimes it takes me a while, {73317}{73387}and l like to have something|to read while it's going on. {73389}{73438}[ Dante ]|Yeah, sure, go ahead. {73439}{73520}One of the magazines you got|in the back behind the counter. {73522}{73603}- The porno mags ?|- Yeah ! {73605}{73666}I like the cartoons.|They make me laugh. {73668}{73754}They draw some of the biggest titties|you ever saw. {73755}{73829}Not this one. Maybe the one|you got underneath this one. {73831}{73891}- They got bigger titties in there.|- Here. {73893}{73962}- Now leave me alone.|- Oh, thank you, sonny boy. {73964}{74012}I appreciate it. {74104}{74152}Hell of a game. {74154}{74246}One ball ? l close the store, they come|all the way here, for one ball ? {74248}{74302}Hockey is hockey.|At least we got to play. {74306}{74378}Twelve minutes is not a game.|Jesus, it's hardly even a warm-up. {74379}{74494}- Bitch, bitch, bitch.|You want something to drink ?|- Yeah, a Gatorade. {74496}{74621}-Hey, what happened to all the Gatorade?|-Exactly. They drank it all. {74623}{74704}- Know what Sanford told me ?|- l can't believe|Caitlin's getting married. {74706}{74754}- Julie Doyer died.|- Yeah, right. {74756}{74821}- No, I'm serious.|- Oh, my God ! {74823}{74886}Sanford's brother dates her cousin.|He found out this morning. {74888}{74953}- How ? When ?|- Embolism in her brain. Yesterday. {74955}{75028}- Jesus !|- She was swimming in the pool|in the YMCA when it happened. {75030}{75128}-She died mid-backstroke.|-l haven't seen her in, like, two years. {75130}{75204}Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't she|one of the illustrious 12 ? {75205}{75299}- Yeah, number six.|- You've had sex with a dead person. {75301}{75368}- I'm gonna go to her wake.|- No, you're not. it's today. {75370}{75449}- What ?|- Posten's Funeral Parlor.|Next show's at 4:00. {75451}{75528}- Shit ! What about tomorrow ?|- One night only.|She's buried in the morning. {75530}{75591}- You gotta watch the store.|I gotta go to this.|- Wait, wait, wait, wait. {75593}{75679}- Has it occurred to you|that l might be bereaved as well ?|- You hardly knew her. {75681}{75754}True. But do you know|how many people are gonna be there ? {75756}{75817}- All her old classmates,|to say the least.|- This is beneath even you. {75818}{75896}I'm not gonna miss what's probably|gonna be the social event of the season. {75898}{75979}-You hate people !|-But l love gatherings. isn't it ironic? {75981}{76050}Stop being an asshole.|Someone's gotta watch the store. {76052}{76104}- lf you go, l go.|- She meant nothing to you ! {76106}{76171}She meant nothing to you neither|'til l told you she died. {76173}{76221}- I'm not taking you to this funeral.|- I'm going with you. {76223}{76313}- l can't close the store.|- You just closed the store|to play hockey on the roof. {76315}{76414}Exactly ! Which means|I can't close it for another hour|just so we can both go to a wake. {76416}{76464}You were saying ? {76466}{76563}Thanks for putting me in|such a tough spot. You're a good friend. {76607}{76688}- She was pretty young, huh ?|- Twenty-two. Just like us. {76690}{76784}- Embolism in a pool.|- What an embarrassing way to die. {76786}{76876}- That's nothing compared|to how my cousin Walter died.|- How did he die ? {76878}{76955}- He broke his neck.|- That's embarrassing ? {76957}{77026}He broke his neck|trying to suck his own dick. {77028}{77080}- Shut the hell up.|- l swear. {77082}{77130}- Stop it.|- Bible truth. {77132}{77239}- Oh, my God !|- Come on. Haven't you ever|tried to suck your own dick ? {77241}{77312}- No.|- Yeah, right. You're so repressed. {77314}{77404}- Because l never tried|to suck my own dick ?|- No, because you won't admit to it. {77406}{77487}As if a guy's a fucking pervert|'cause he tries to go down on himself. {77489}{77558}You're as curious as the rest|of us, pal. You've tried it. {77560}{77633}- Who found him ?|- My cousin ? Mom found him. {77635}{77729}It was a mess. He was on his bed,|his legs doubled over himself. {77731}{77779}Mom freaked out. {77781}{77846} You know that you are|a shooting star {77848}{77938}- Made it, huh ? Dick in his mouth ?|- Yeah. {77940}{78009}Balls resting on his lips. {78011}{78100}- Wow. He really made it.|- Yeah, but at what a price. {78165}{78238}- l can never reach.|- Reach what ? {78240}{78301}- You know.|- What, your dick ? {78302}{78405}Yeah. Like you said, l guess everybody|gets curious and tries it sometime. {78407}{78455}I never tried it. {78511}{78559}Fucking pervert. {78610}{78722} Suddenly everyone loved|to hear him play his songs {78724}{78854} Watch the world go by|Surprising it goes so fast {78856}{78979} Johnny looked around him and said|hey, I've made the big time at last {79031}{79117}- l knew this was a bad idea|to close the store.|- Listen to you. {79118}{79217}I can't help it. At least on the roof,|I could see if anybody wanted to go in. {79218}{79275}Nobody's there.|It's 4:00 on a Saturday. {79277}{79342}How many people ever come to the store|at 4:00 on a Saturday ? {79388}{79436}Let me in ! {79869}{79920}[ Crashing Sound, Woman Screaming ] {80082}{80170} Do you know your place {80172}{80247} In the big charade {80249}{80361} Are you more than dead {80365}{80460} Leaders and followers|Leaders and followers {80461}{80520}- [ Door Closes ]|- l can't fucking believe you. {80522}{80571}I'm telling you, it wasn't my fault. {80572}{80650}- You knocked the casket over,|for Christ's sake !|- l was just leanin' on it. {80651}{80725}- it was an accident.|- Like someone knocks a casket over|on purpose ! {80727}{80808}- So the casket fell over. Big deal.|- Her fucking body fell out ! {80810}{80892}I put her back in it. it's not like|it matters if she breaks something. {80893}{80979}- Just go open the video store.|- [ Jay ] Open the video store ! {80981}{81042}Shut the fuck up, junkie. {81094}{81192}-Would you just go open the video store?|-Yeah, you cock-smokin' clerk. {81194}{81263}How many times have l told you not|to be dealing in front of the store ? {81265}{81313}I'm not dealing.|What're you talking about ? {81315}{81372}- Have you got anything, man ?|- What you want ? {81440}{81513}- Let me borrow your car.|- l don't want to talk to you. {81515}{81601}- Fine. Just let me borrow your car.|- Why should l loan you my car ? {81602}{81659}- l want to rent a movie.|- You want to rent a movie. {81661}{81726}- [ Sighs ]|- What's that for ? {81728}{81818}- You work in a video store !|- l work in a shitty video store. {81820}{81926}I want to go to a good video store|so l can get a good movie. {81955}{82008}And a pack of cigarettes. {82010}{82084}- Cute cat. What's its name ?|- Annoying customer. {82086}{82135}Fucking dickhead. {82197}{82271}Can you imagine being halfway decent|to the customers sometimes ? {82272}{82333}- Let me borrow your car.|- May l be blunt with you ? {82335}{82383}If you must. {82385}{82458}We are employees of Quick Stop|Convenience and RST Video, respectively. {82460}{82544}As such, we have certain obligations|that, although they may seem cruel|and unusual, {82546}{82617}- does mean manning the store|until closing.|- l see. {82618}{82708}So playing hockey and attending wakes|are standard operating procedures ? {82710}{82821}There's a difference.|Those are obligations that couldn't|have been met at any other date. {82823}{82879}Now, renting videos, that's gratuitous,|not to mention illogical, {82881}{82942}being that you work at a video store. {82944}{82992}- Are you open ?|- Yes. {82994}{83109}- l don't care for your rationale.|- it's gonna have to do,|being it's my car up for request. {83111}{83167}- Can l help you ?|- A pack of cigarettes. {83169}{83259}- What's your point ?|- My point is,|you're a clerk, paid to do a job. {83261}{83349}You can't just do anything|you want while you're working. {83351}{83452}""Space alien revealed|as head of Time-Warner. {83453}{83529}Report stock increase."" {83531}{83599}They print any kind of shit|in this paper. {83601}{83649}They certainly do.|Three dollars. {83651}{83716}- Your argument is|that title dictates behavior.|- What ? {83718}{83797}The reason you won't|Let me use your car is because|I have a title and job description, {83799}{83858}- and I'm supposed to follow it, right ?|- Exactly. {83860}{83944}I saw one one time that said, {83946}{84012}""The next week,|the world is ending."" {84014}{84075}In the next week's paper, they said, {84077}{84146}""We were miraculously saved|at the zero hour... {84147}{84233}by a koala-fish mutant bird."" {84235}{84283}[ Laughing ]|Crazy shit. {84285}{84385}So I'm no more|responsible for my decisions here than,|say, a death squad soldier in Bosnia ? {84387}{84463}That's stretching it. You're not being|asked to slay children or anything. {84464}{84529}- Yeah, not yet.|- And l remember one time-- {84582}{84655}I'm gonna break your fucking head,|you fucking jerk ! {84656}{84721}- I'm sorry. He meant to hit me.|- Yeah ? Well, he missed. {84723}{84796}Here, let me refund your money|and we'll call if even, all right ? {84798}{84849}I'll never come in here again. {84851}{84978}And if l see you again,|I'm gonna break your fucking head open ! {85047}{85103}- What the fuck did you do that for ?|- Two reasons. {85105}{85202}One, l hate it when people can't shut up|about the stupid tabloid headlines. {85204}{85291}- Oh, Jesus.|- And two, to prove a point.|Title does not dictate behavior. {85293}{85379}- What ?|- lf title dictated my behavior|as a clerk serving the public, {85380}{85454}I wouldn't be allowed to spit water|at that guy, but l did. {85455}{85520}My point is that|people dictate their own behavior. {85522}{85608}Even though l work in a video store,|I choose to rent movies at Big Choice. {85610}{85693}- Agreed ?|- You are a danger|to both the dead and the living. {85695}{85756}I like to think|I'm a master of my own destiny. {85757}{85833}- Please get the hell outta here.|- You know I'm your hero. {85977}{86042}Sounds to me like somebody|needs to hit the gym. {86044}{86115}- Excuse me ?|- l heard you strain|when you picked up that milk. {86117}{86192}- it only weighs seven pounds.|- l didn't strain. l sighed. {86194}{86251}I don't think so.|That was a grunt. {86253}{86340}A deep inhalation of oxygen|to aid in the stretching of muscles. {86342}{86446}I'm a trainer. l know what that|sound signifies. You're out of shape. {86448}{86529}- What ? There's no fat on my body.|- No fat ! {86531}{86591}No tone either.|You don't get enough exercise. {86592}{86643}- You open ?|- Yes. {86645}{86712}- Just the paper.|- Thirty-five. {86714}{86806}Hey, uh, let me ask you a question.|Think this guy's out of shape ? {86808}{86856}I don't know.|Can't really tell from here. {86858}{86929}- l am-- l am not !|- He is. {86930}{86979}How much can you bench ? {86980}{87055}- l don't know.|- I'd say about 60, 70, tops. {87056}{87105}I know l can bench more than that. {87106}{87175}- Three-fifty, four.|- No way ! {87177}{87226}Feel that. {87227}{87299}Hey, that's tight.|Solid. {87301}{87356}Yeah. Now feel this.|Roll up your sleeve, chief. {87357}{87420}- Oh, for God's sakes !|- See, you're ashamed. {87422}{87472}You know you're out of shape. {87473}{87522}Here.|Take my card. {87523}{87573}I can get you on|an aerobics/free weights program. {87574}{87648}- Are you open ?|- [ Dante ] Yes. I'm not out of shape. {87650}{87699}Excuse me.|Have you been here all day ? {87700}{87778}- Yeah, since 6:00 this morning.|- He's got those love handles. {87780}{87829}I don't have love handles ! {87830}{87885}- Were you working here about 4:00 ?|- Yes. {87887}{87961}- it's probably from being|around all this food every day.|- Oh, l know. {87963}{88052}If l had to work here all day,|I'd be bloated and out of shape too. {88054}{88122}- I'm not out of shape.|- Can l have your name, please ? {88124}{88183}Dante Hicks. Why ?|What's this all about ? {88185}{88288}You're Dante Hicks ? Oh, my God.|I didn't even recognize you. {88290}{88352}- Because he's out of shape !|- Do l know you ? {88354}{88418}Yeah. Do you remember Alyssa Jones ?|She used to hang out-- {88420}{88465}- With Caitlin Bree !|- I'm her sister. {88467}{88515}You're Alyssa's sister Heather ? {88517}{88570}- Yeah.|- You, uh, say Caitlin Bree ? {88572}{88623}- Yeah.|- Pretty girl ? {88625}{88688}A little taller than her ?|Gorgeous body ? {88690}{88740}- Yeah.|- And you're Dante Hicks. {88742}{88793}You went to the same school.|You played hockey. {88795}{88861}- Yeah. How did you know that ?|- You still goin' out with her ? {88863}{88917}- No, she's getting married.|- To you ? {88919}{88968}No. To an Asian design major. {88970}{89018}Aw, shit ! {89020}{89102}Don't take this the wrong way,|but, uh, l used to fuck her. {89104}{89166}- What ?|- Yeah, about two, three years ago. {89168}{89237}While you two were dating.|I drove a black Trans Am. {89239}{89290}- You're Rick Daress ?|- Yeah. {89292}{89340}- You know him ?|- Yeah. {89342}{89405}- Caitlin used to|talk about him all the time.|- Really ? {89407}{89509}Wait a second. You used to fuck|Caitlin Bree while l was dating her ? {89511}{89580}Nah, man, don't let it bother you.|That was a long time ago. {89582}{89640}I'm surprised you didn't|know about it, Dante. {89641}{89707}Everybody in school knew about it.|Even in my class. {89709}{89758}Jesus Christ ! What next ? {89760}{89808}- Here you go.|- What's this ? {89810}{89854}- A fine for $500.|- What ? {89856}{89905}Five hundred bucks ?|For what ? {89907}{90021}For violation of New Jersey Statute,|Section 2A, Number 170/51. {90023}{90088}Any person who sells|or makes available tobacco, {90090}{90163}or tobacco-related products,|to persons under the age of 18, {90165}{90214}is regarded as disorderly. {90215}{90324}- What are you talkin' about ?|- An angry mother called|the state division of taxation... {90325}{90375}and claimed|that a Quick Stop employee... {90376}{90454}sold her four-year-old daughter|a pack of cigarettes at 4:00 today. {90455}{90527}The New Jersey Division of Taxation|called the Board of Health... {90529}{90577}and sent me down to issue a fine. {90579}{90667}You claimed you were working here|all day. Hence, the fine is yours. {90669}{90734}The fine is doubled due to|the incredibly young age of the child. {90736}{90784}But l didn't sell any cigarettes|to any kids ! {90786}{90863}You sold cigarettes to a four-year-old ?|What a scumbag ! {90865}{90917}That's sick, Dante. {90919}{90972}I didn't sell cigarettes to any kids !|I swear ! {90974}{91098}The due date is on the bottom.|This summons cannot be contested|in any court of law. {91099}{91151}Failure to remit before the due date... {91153}{91201}will result|in a charge of criminal negligence, {91203}{91251}and a warrant|will be issued for your arrest. {91253}{91323}- Have a nice day.|- But l didn't sell|any cigarettes to any kids. {91325}{91400}Hey, wait a minute ! {91402}{91516}Forget it. l don't wanna deal with a guy|that sells cigarettes to four-year-olds. {91518}{91576}Can l, uh, give you|a lift somewhere ? {91577}{91650}Sure. How 'bout the beach ? {91652}{91700}I like the way you think. {91822}{91870}Jesus ! What next ? {91872}{91959}- [ Woman ] Dante ?|- What ? Caitlin ! {91961}{92066} [ Muzak ] {92523}{92573}- When did you get home ?|- Just now. {92574}{92645}I can't believe it.|I haven't seen you in so long. {92699}{92751}Dante, you have a customer. {92841}{92899}I just saw Alyssa's|Little sister outside. {92901}{92975}- She was with Rick Daress.|- Let's not talk about her. {92977}{93050}- How'd you get home ?|- Train. it took eight hours. {93051}{93105}- l can't believe you're here.|- Excuse me. Do you have-- {93106}{93161}Uh, yeah. Back behind the oil.|How long you staying ? {93163}{93238}Until Monday.|Then l have to take the train back. {93240}{93292}Pack of cigarettes.|Hey, congratulations. {93294}{93342}I saw the announcement|in today's paper. {93344}{93391}You know, she's marrying|an Asian design major. {93393}{93442}So I'm told. {93588}{93711} [ Hip-Hop ] {94163}{94221}You're just gonna close|the store like that ? {94223}{94287}I wanna talk to you about something,|and l don't wanna be disturbed. {94288}{94339}Something l read in the tabloids. {94341}{94391}- You saw it.|- Very dramatic, l thought. {94393}{94446}- it is not what you think.|- Oh, it's not what l think. {94448}{94519}What is it, worse ? You're pregnant|with the Asian design major's child ? {94521}{94571}- What's goin' on here ?|- l am not pregnant. {94573}{94638}Were you gonna tell me, or were|you gonna send me an invitation ? {94640}{94720}I was gonna tell you,|but we were getting along so well,|I didn't wanna mess it up. {94721}{94771}You could've broken it to me gently. {94772}{94846}You could've started|by telling me you had a boyfriend.|I told you l had a girlfriend. {94847}{94948}I know. I'm sorry,|but when we started talking,|it was like l forgot l had a boyfriend. {94950}{95010}- And then he proposed last month.|- And you said yes. {95012}{95060}Well, kind of. Sort of. {95062}{95132}Is that what they teach you in that|school of yours ? ""Kind of,"" ""sort of"" ? {95133}{95202}Everybody knows about this except me !|Do you know how humiliating that is ? {95204}{95277}I would've told you, and you would've|stopped calling me, like a baby. {95279}{95328}- How do you know that ?|- Because l know you. {95329}{95397}You prefer drastic measures|to rational ones. {95399}{95456}- So you're really getting married ?|- No. {95458}{95515}- You're not really getting married ?|- [ Scoffs ] {95517}{95626}The story goes like this: He proposed,|I told him l had to think about it, {95627}{95679}and he insisted|that l wear the ring anyway. {95681}{95742}Then my mother told the paper|we were engaged. {95744}{95805}- Oh, how like her.|- Then my mother called this morning... {95807}{95868}to let me know that|the announcement was in the paper. {95870}{95948}That's when l hopped a train|to come back here,|because l knew you'd be a wreck. {95950}{96016}- Thanks for the vote of confidence.|- Was l right ? {96018}{96066}""Wreck"" is a harsh term. {96068}{96119}""Disturbed"" is more like it.|""Mildly disturbed,"" even. {96121}{96209}Oh, l love a macho facade.|It is such a turn-on. {96211}{96310}- What smells like shoe polish ?|- So you came here to what ?|To comfort me ? {96312}{96387}The last thing l needed was for you to|think l was hiding something from you. {96389}{96446}- But you were !|- No, l wasn't ! Not really. {96448}{96496}I told you|I'd been seeing other people. {96498}{96572}Yeah, but not seriously. Christ,|you're ready to walk down the aisle. {96574}{96624}I think that constitutes something|more than just seeing somebody. {96626}{96705}- What's going on ?|- I'm giving him his ring back. {96707}{96768}- What ?|- [ Sighs ] l don't want to marry him. {96769}{96843}I don't want to get married now.|I'm on the verge of graduation. {96845}{96932}I want to go to grad school after this,|and then l want to start a career. {96934}{96998}I don't want to be a wife first|and then have to worry about... {97000}{97049}when I'm gonna|fit in the other stuff. {97050}{97112}I have come way too far|and studied too damn hard... {97114}{97184}to let my education|go to waste as a housewife. {97186}{97234}And l know|that's what I'd become. {97236}{97326}Sang's just signed with a major firm,|and he's gonna be pulling in|a huge salary, {97328}{97384}which would give me|no reason to work. {97386}{97434}- He's very traditional.|- Wait a minute. {97436}{97520}- His name is ""Sang"" ? Past tense ?|- Stop it. He's a nice guy. {97522}{97587}Well, if he's so nice,|why aren't you marrying him ? {97588}{97667}- l just told you.|- There's more to this, isn't there ? {97669}{97738}Oh ! Why, Mr. Hicks,|whatever do you mean ? {97740}{97820}- Tell me l don't|have something to do with it.|- You have nothing to do with it. {97822}{97875}- Oh, you lie !|- Look how full of yourself you are ! {97877}{97926}I just believe in giving credit|where credit's due, {97928}{97989}and l believe I'm the impetus|behind your refusal to wed. {97990}{98091}If I'm so nuts about you, then why am l|having sex with an Asian design major ? {98093}{98148}Oh, Jesus. You're so caustic. {98150}{98216}I had to knock you down|from that cloud you were floating on. {98217}{98278}When l say l don't want to get married,|I mean just that. {98280}{98355}I don't want to marry anybody.|Not for years. {98357}{98412}Who's asking ?|I don't want to marry you. {98413}{98477}Well, good.|Keep in that frame of mind. {98478}{98566}- Well, let's date.|- Oh, l think Sang and... Veronica, {98568}{98617}they'd love that. {98619}{98667}We can introduce the two of them.|They may hit it off. {98669}{98722}You're serious ?|You wanna date again ? {98724}{98772}I wanna be your boyfriend, yes. {98774}{98837}It's just the shock of seeing me|after three years. {98839}{98912}- Believe me, you'll get over it.|- Give me a bit more credit. {98914}{98962}I think it's time|we got back together. {98964}{99040}I'm more mature, you're more mature.|You're finishing college. {99042}{99111}- I'm already in the job market.|- You work in a market, all right. {99112}{99167}Cute. Tell me you wouldn't|wanna go out with me again... {99169}{99218}after all the talking we've been doing. {99219}{99269}The key word here is ""talk,"" Dante. {99271}{99322}I think the idea,|or the conception of us dating, {99324}{99396}is a lot more idyllic than|what actually happens when we date. {99398}{99471}What are we supposed to do ?|Pretend over the phone we're dating ? {99473}{99534}I don't know.|Maybe we should just see what happens. {99535}{99593}- Let me take you out tonight.|- On a date ? {99595}{99658}Yeah, a real date.|Dinner and a movie. {99660}{99719}Oh, the ""Dante Hicks|Dinner and Movie"" date. {99721}{99825}- l think I've been on that one before.|- Do you have a better suggestion ? {99827}{99876}Well, how 'bout the ""Caitlin Bree... {99877}{99972}Walk On The Boardwalk, Then Get|Naked Somewhere"" kind of private date ? {99974}{100036}- l hear that's kind of a popular date.|- Jerk ! {100038}{100123}God, here l am, throwing myself at you,|succumbing to your wily charms, {100125}{100184}and you're calling me a slut|in so many words. {100186}{100243}- What about Sing ?|- Sang ! {100245}{100310}- He's not invited.|- He's your fiancé. {100312}{100390}I'm offering you my body,|and you're offering me semantics. {100392}{100484}He's just a boyfriend, Dante, and|in case you haven't gotten the drift... {100485}{100553}of why l came all the way here|from Ohio-- {100555}{100619}Duh ! I'm about|to become single again. {100621}{100698}And, yes,|allow me to placate your ego. {100700}{100775}You are the inspiration|for this bold and momentous decision... {100777}{100855}that will probably get me ostracized|from both school and home. {100857}{100917}You ask me who l choose. {100918}{100979}I choose you. {100981}{101044}- So, what are you saying ?|- You are such an asshole. {101046}{101138}- I'm just kidding !|- l can already see|this is not gonna work out. {101139}{101215}- I'll ask Randal to close up|when he gets back.|- Where is he, anyway ? {101217}{101271}I thought he'd be at your side|Like an obedient lapdog. {101273}{101327}He went to go rent a movie.|He isn't back yet. {101329}{101381}Ah, screw it.|I'll close up and leave him a note. {101383}{101473}You are too responsible.|But no, l have to go home first. {101475}{101532}They don't even know|I've left school yet. {101534}{101596}And l should break|the disengagement news to my mother, {101598}{101676}which is gonna cause quite a row|considering she loves Sang. {101678}{101767}- Who doesn't ?|- Well, me, l guess. {101769}{101843}[ Sighs ] So l shall|take my leave of you, {101844}{101894}but l will return in a little while, {101895}{101971}at which time, yes, l would love to|go for dinner and a movie with you. {101973}{102023}What happened to the walk|and the nakedness ? {102025}{102087}I'm easy, but I'm not that easy. {102089}{102137}See you later, handsome. {102276}{102311}Yes ! {102313}{102435} [ Hip-Hop ] {102766}{102821}- Get to work.|- Hey, what'd you rent ? {102862}{102910}Best of Both Worlds ? {102912}{102974}Hermaphroditic porn.|Starlets with both organs. {102976}{103052}You should see the box. Beautiful chicks|with dicks that put mine to shame. {103054}{103119}- And you rented this ?|- Hey, l like to expand my horizons. {103121}{103191}- l got fined|for selling cigarettes to a minor.|- No way. {103193}{103242}- Five hundred dollars.|- You're bullshittin'. {103243}{103292}No, I'm not. {103346}{103408}Holy shit ! l didn't even|think they enforced this. {103409}{103471}- Living proof.|- l thought you never|sold cigarettes to kids. {103473}{103527}- l didn't. You did.|- Really ? {103529}{103582}Yep. A little girl,|maybe four years old. {103584}{103663}- Holy shit ! That girl ?|- Yeah, as opposed to hundreds|of other children... {103664}{103713}you've sold cigarettes|while working here. {103715}{103768}- Then how come you got the fine ?|- 'Cause I'm here. {103770}{103818}- You're lyin'.|- No, I'm not. {103820}{103875}- Why aren't you screaming at me now ?|- 'Cause I'm happy. {103876}{103930}- I'm happy.|- You're happy to get a fine ? {103932}{104008}- No, because Caitlin came to see me.|- Now l know you're lyin'. {104010}{104065}- I'm not. She just left.|- What'd she say ? {104067}{104122}She's not marrying that guy.|She went home to tell her mom. {104124}{104172}- You're kiddin'.|- I'm not. {104174}{104231}Well, you've had quite an evening. {104233}{104293}She went home and she's getting ready|and we're going out. {104295}{104354}I feel so ineffectual.|Is there anything l can do for you ? {104356}{104404}Watch the store|while l go home and change ? {104406}{104454}What happened to|""Title dictates behavior"" ? {104456}{104519}Well, this is my way|of spitting water at life. {104521}{104595}All right. You want me to bring|the VCR over so we can watch this ? {104596}{104645}No, l might be leaving early|to go out with Caitlin, {104646}{104698}in which case, you're gonna lock up|the store tonight. {104700}{104753}All right, but you're missin' out.|Chicks with dicks. {104755}{104878} [ ""Berserker"" On Tape Deck ] {105324}{105446}[ Laughing ] {105450}{105560}- [ Man Moaning ]|- [ Woman ] Uh, no. Oh. {105561}{105617}Well, Randal Graves, {105619}{105669}scourge of the video renter. {105671}{105776}Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Asian|Design Major herself, Caitlin Bree. {105778}{105868}You saw that article ? God, isn't|it awful ? My mother sent that in. {105870}{105966}- l take it she likes the guy.|- You'd think she's marrying him. {105968}{106041}- What are you watching ?|- Children's programming. {106043}{106108}What'd your mom say when you told her|you weren't engaged anymore ? {106109}{106178}She said not to come home|until after graduation. {106179}{106232}Wow ! You got thrown out for Dante ? {106234}{106299}What can l say ?|He does weird things to me. {106300}{106349}- Ooh, can l watch ?|- You can hold me down. {106350}{106418}- Can l join in ?|- You might be let down. {106420}{106487}- I'm not a hermaphrodite.|- Hey, few are. {106489}{106584}What makes you think you can maintain a|relationship with him this time around ? {106586}{106634}A woman's intuition. {106636}{106710}Something inside of me says it's time|to give the old boy a serious try. {106712}{106794}Wow ! Hey, you know,|you and l have something in common. {106796}{106857}- We both eat Chinese.|- [ Scoffs ] Dick. {106859}{106918}- Exactly.|- So where is he ? {106919}{106968}He went home to change for the big date. {106969}{107049}- God, isn't he great ?|- No. This is great. {107050}{107117}Oh, lord.|Can l use your bathroom ? {107119}{107184}- There's no lights back there.|- Why aren't there any lights ? {107186}{107267}There are, but for some reason|they stop working at 5:14 every night. {107269}{107322}- You're kidding.|- Nobody can figure it out. {107324}{107377}The boss doesn't want|to pay the electrician to fix it... {107379}{107436}'cause the electrician|owes money to the video store. {107438}{107518}- Such a sordid state of affairs.|- And I'm caught in the middle, {107520}{107618}torn between my loyalty for the boss and|my desire to piss with the lights on. {107620}{107677}Well, I'll try to manage. {107678}{107727}Oh, hey, Caitlin ? {107729}{107782}Break his heart again this time,|and I'll kill ya. {107784}{107832}Nothing personal. {107834}{107907}You are very protective of him, Randal.|You always have been. {107909}{107975}Territoriality.|He was mine first. {107977}{108030}Oh, that was so cute. {108061}{108110}[ Sighs ] {108201}{108257}[ Clock Ticking ] {108259}{108336}[ Bed Squeaking,|People Moaning On Video ] {108337}{108387}Who eats cock ? {108388}{108440}Bunch of savages in this town. {108442}{108490}Hey, Caitlin's in the back.|You might want to check on her. {108492}{108565}- She's been back there a long time.|- There are no lights back there. {108567}{108636}I told her that.|She said she didn't need any. {108638}{108712}Why don't you go join her ?|Make a little bathroom bam-bam. {108714}{108769}Oh, l love your sexy talk.|It's so kindergarten. {108771}{108824}- ""Poo-poo,"" ""wee-wee.""|- Fuck you. {108826}{108875}[ Door Opening ] {108876}{108940}[ Woman Moaning On Video ] {108942}{108991}[ Man On Video ]|I said stop. {108992}{109104}- [ Woman ] Oh, God.|- [ Man ] it's all about pain,|you bastard ! {109106}{109168}[ Woman Moaning On Video ] {109170}{109219}How did you get here so fast ? {109221}{109277}I left like an hour ago. {109279}{109372}Do you always talk this weird|after you violate a woman ? {109374}{109433}Maybe the Asian design major|slipped her some opium. {109434}{109519}- Could be.|- it has never been like that before. {109521}{109586}Like what ? {109588}{109674}When you just lay perfectly still|and let me do everything. {109675}{109724}Am l missing something here ? {109726}{109765}Okay. {109767}{109835}I went back there|and Dante was already waiting for me. {109836}{109908}- He was ?|- it was so cool. {109910}{109970}He didn't say a word.|He didn't have to. {109972}{110062}[ Sighs ]|He was just... ready. {110064}{110142}You know. And, like,|we didn't kiss or talk or anything. {110144}{110205}He just sat there|and let me do all the work. {110207}{110268}You dog !|I didn't even see you go back there. {110269}{110351}The fact that there|weren't any lights on made it so-- {110353}{110401}God, that was so great ! {110403}{110457}My legs are still shaking. {110501}{110560}- it wasn't me.|- [ Scoffs ] {110561}{110622}Yeah, right.|Who was it, then ? Randal ? {110624}{110681}- Was it you ?|- l was up here the whole time. {110682}{110761}- You two better quit it.|- I'm serious. {110762}{110826}Oh, so we didn't|just have sex in the bathroom ? {110827}{110878}No. {110955}{111003}Stop it.|This isn't funny. {111005}{111079}I'm not fooling around.|I just came in from outside. {111080}{111143}- This isn't fucking funny, Dante.|- I'm not kidding. {111145}{111200}- Who went back there ?|- Nobody. l swear. {111202}{111264}- l feel nauseous.|- Are you sure there was|someone back there ? {111266}{111326}Well, l didn't just fuck myself !|Jesus Christ ! {111328}{111389}- God, I'm gonna be sick !|- You just fucked a total stranger ? {111391}{111439}- Shut the fuck up !|- l can't believe this. {111441}{111489}- Call the police.|- Why ?|- No, don't ! {111491}{111539}There's a stranger in our bathroom !|He just raped Caitlin ! {111541}{111603}- She said she did all the work.|- Will you shut the fuck up ? {111605}{111653}Who the fuck's in our bathroom ? {111683}{111736}[ Woman ]|Who is he ? {111738}{111817}[ Dante ] l don't know. He just came in|and asked to use the bathroom. {111818}{111868}- What time was this ?|- l don't know. {111869}{111919}What time did hockey end ? {111920}{111969}Um, like 3:00, 3:30. {111970}{112040}-What time we get back from the funeral?|-4:00, l think. {112042}{112104}- Wait. Who was working here ?|- Just me. {112106}{112180}I thought you just said you went to|play hockey and then went to a funeral. {112181}{112242}- Yeah, we did.|- Then who was operating the store ? {112244}{112317}- Nobody. it was closed.|- With this guy locked in here ? {112319}{112402}Well, everything happened so quickly,|I guess l forgot he was back there. {112404}{112465}- [ Man ] Can we take it now ?|- Go ahead. {112606}{112661}Was he alive when Caitlin-- {112663}{112727}No. l place the time|of death about 3:20. {112729}{112793}Then how could she-- You know. {112795}{112882}[ Coroner ]|The body can maintain an erection|after expiration, sometimes for hours. {112884}{112932}Did he have the adult magazine|when he came in ? {112934}{112984}Uh, no. l gave it to him. {113011}{113061}He asked me for it. {113063}{113136}I can't say for certain until we get|him back to the lab, but my guess is... {113138}{113194}he was masturbating,|his heart seized and he died. {113196}{113245}That's when the girl found him.|[ Sniffing ] {113247}{113298}Uh, something smells|Like shoe polish. {113300}{113366}This has got to be the weirdest thing|you've ever been called in on. {113368}{113487}Actually, l once had|to tag a kid that broke his neck|trying to put his mouth on his penis. {113488}{113537}What about Caitlin ? {113539}{113618}[ Coroner ] Shock trauma. She's gonna|need years of therapy after this. {113619}{113703}My question is: How did she come|to have sex with a dead man ? {113705}{113770}She thought it was me. {113772}{113849}What kind of convenience store|do you run here ? {114051}{114172}[ Siren Blaring ] {114323}{114445} [ Humming ""Theme from Jaws"" ] {114519}{114558}Salsa shark. {114560}{114609}""We're gonna need a bigger boat."" {114670}{114754}Man goes into cage,|cage goes into salsa. {114756}{114817}Shark's in the salsa.|Our shark. {114851}{114901}Oh, what ?|What's with you, man ? {114902}{114976}You haven't said anything|for, like, 20 minutes.|What the hell's your problem ? {114977}{115038}- [ Sighs ] This life.|- ""This life"" ? {115040}{115088}Why do l have this life ? {115090}{115138}Have some chips.|You'll feel better. {115140}{115232}I'm stuck in this pit,|working for less than slave wages, {115234}{115284}working on my day off. {115286}{115337}The goddamn steel shutters are closed. {115339}{115412}I deal with every backward-assed fuck|on the planet. {115414}{115462}I smell like shoe polish. {115464}{115535}My ex-girlfriend is catatonic|after fucking a dead guy, {115537}{115611}and my present girlfriend|has sucked 36 dicks. {115612}{115675}- Thirty-seven.|- My life's in the shitter right now, {115677}{115736}and if you don't mind,|I'd like to stew a bit. {115738}{115787}- [ Man ] You open ?|- Yeah. {115837}{115886}[ Randal ]|Aw, that's all bullshit, man. {115888}{115954}- You know what|the real problem here is ?|- l was born ? {115956}{116032}- You should shit or get off the pot.|- l should shit or get off the pot. {116034}{116095}- Yeah, shit or get off the pot.|- What are you talking about ? {116097}{116188}I'm talking about this thing you have,|this inability to improve|your station in life. {116189}{116239}- Fuck you !|- it's true, man. {116240}{116297}You sit there and blame life|for dealin' you a cruddy hand, {116299}{116370}never once accepting responsibility|for the way your situation is. {116371}{116455}- What responsibility ?|- All right, if you hate this job|and the people... {116456}{116541}and the fact that you have to come in|on your day off, why don't you quit ? {116542}{116607}- Like it's that easy.|- it is. You just up and quit. {116609}{116669}There's other jobs.|They pay better money. {116671}{116750}You're bound to be qualified|for at least one of 'em.|So what's stoppin' you ? {116752}{116807}- Leave me alone.|- Oh, you're comfortable, right ? {116809}{116885}This is a life of convenience for you,|and any attempt to change it... {116887}{116953}would shatter the pathetic microcosm|you've fashioned for yourself. {116954}{117003}Oh ! Like your life's any better. {117004}{117082}I'm satisfied with my situation for now.|You don't hear me complaining. {117084}{117138}You, on the other hand,|have been bitching all day. {117140}{117195}Thank you. Why don't you|go back to the video store ? {117197}{117250}- it's the same thing with Veronica.|- Leave her out of this ! {117252}{117327}You date Veronica because it's|convenient and she's low maintenance. {117329}{117388}But meanwhile,|all you ever do is talk about Caitlin. {117390}{117445}You carry a torch for a girl|you dated in high school. {117447}{117532}- in high school, for God's sakes.|You're 22.|- Leave me alone ! {117533}{117618}If you want Caitlin, then talk|to Veronica and be with Caitlin. {117620}{117669}If you want Veronica,|then be with Veronica. {117671}{117728}But don't pine for one|and fuck the other. {117730}{117779}Man, if you weren't|such a fucking coward-- {117781}{117829}If l wasn't such a fucking coward. {117831}{117911}It must be great to have this ability|to simplify things the way you do. {117913}{117961}- Am l right or what ?|- You're wrong ! {117963}{118049}Things happened today. Things that|probably ruined my chances with Caitlin. {118051}{118128}Oh, what, the dead guy ?|She'll get over fuckin' a dead guy. {118130}{118230}Shit, my mom's been fuckin' a dead guy|for 30 years. l call him ""Dad."" {118232}{118296}Caitlin and l can't be together.|It's impossible. {118297}{118377}Melodrama comin' from you seems about|as natural as an oral bowel movement. {118379}{118463}What do you want me to say ?|""Yes, some of the things|you're saying are true"" ? {118465}{118519}That's the way things are.|They're not gonna change. {118521}{118584}- Make 'em change.|- l can't, all right ? {118586}{118635}Jesus, will you leave me alone ? {118637}{118710}I can't make changes in my life|Like that. lf l could, l would. {118712}{118777}But l don't have the ability|to risk the comfortable situations... {118779}{118830}on the big money|and the fabulous prizes ! {118832}{118919}- Who are you kidding ? You can so.|- Jesus H. Christ ! l can't ! {118921}{119041}So you're gonna be miserable 'cause|you don't have the guts to face change ? {119043}{119119}My mother told me once|that when l was three years old, {119121}{119172}my potty lid was closed, {119174}{119246}and instead of me lifting it,|I shit my pants. {119248}{119296}Lovely story. {119298}{119355}The point is,|I'm not the type of person... {119357}{119432}who'll disrupt things|just so l can shit comfortably. {119773}{119860}- [ Door Opening ]|- Noise, noise, noise|Smokin' weed, smokin' weed {119862}{119959} Doin' coke, drinkin' beers |Pack o' ""rass,"" my good man. {119961}{120031}Time to kick back, drink some beers|and smoke some weed ! {120033}{120083}Done poisoning the youth|for today, huh ? {120085}{120134}Hell, yes, whatever that means. {120136}{120198}Now it's time to head over to Atlantic,|drink some beers, {120199}{120248}get ripped and, hopefully, get laid. {120249}{120308}- [ Dante ] One seventy-nine.|- Pay the good man. {120340}{120405}- Yeah, you close soon ?|- in half an hour. {120407}{120455}Yeah, we get off|the same time every day. {120457}{120518}- We should hang out. You get high ?|- l should start. {120520}{120586}Wanna come to this party tonight ?|There's gonna be some pussy there. {120588}{120636}With you ? l don't think so. {120637}{120695}Oh, look at you.|""l don't hang out with drug dealers."" {120696}{120777}- Nothing personal.|- What happened with that old guy ? {120779}{120852}- He died in the bathroom.|- l heard he was jerkin' off|or something. {120854}{120907}I don't know.|I wasn't watching. {120909}{120994}He probably saw that Caitlin chick.|I know l felt like beatin' it|when l saw her. {120996}{121048}Oh, come here, bitch.|You like this ? Huh ? {121050}{121132}- This what you want ?|- Knock it off. That used to be|my girlfriend, all right ? {121134}{121180}Oh, you used to go out with her ? {121182}{121239}Yeah, well, l thought|we might be starting again. {121240}{121329}- Don't you already have a girlfriend ?|- [ Dante ] Yeah, Veronica. {121330}{121415}- And what, you're gonna dump her|for that Caitlin chick ?|- Maybe. {121416}{121490}I don't know, dude. That Caitlin chick's|nice, but l see that Veronica girl... {121491}{121540}doin' shit for you all the time. {121542}{121615}I saw her rubbin' your back,|fuckin' comes and brings your food. {121617}{121688}-Didn't l see her change your tire once?|-Hey, l jacked up the car. {121690}{121752}All she did was unloosen the nuts|and put the tire on. {121753}{121842}- Well, l know she does a lot for you.|- She's my girlfriend. {121843}{121951}I had some girlfriends too, but all|they wanted from me was weed and shit. {121953}{122001}Shit, my grandmother used to say,|""What's better ? {122003}{122077}Fuckin' a good plate|with nothin' on it ?"" {122079}{122141}No, wait. l fucked up. ""What's|a good plate with nothin' on it ?"" {122143}{122191}Meaning ? {122193}{122292}I don't know. She was senile. She used|to fuckin' piss herself all the time... {122294}{122342}and shit herself. {122344}{122422}Come on, Silent Bob. Let's get|the fuck outta this fuckin' gyp joint... {122424}{122478}with this fuckin' faggot Dante. {122480}{122538}You cock smoker. {122540}{122615}You know, there's a million|fine-lookin' women in the world, dude, {122617}{122666}but they don't all bring ya|Lasagna at work. {122668}{122717}Most of 'em just cheat on ya. {122719}{122780}[ Jay ]|Come on, limp dick ! {122782}{122845}[ Silent Bob ]|Yeah, yeah, yeah. {122880}{122930}He's right. {122932}{122996}I love her. {122998}{123090}So that's it. He doesn't love you|anymore. He loves Caitlin. {123092}{123145}And he told you all of this ? {123146}{123254}Pretty much. All except|the latent homosexuality part.|That's just my theory. {123256}{123315}Uh-- l don't know what to say. {123317}{123413}Don't hold it against him. He just|never got Caitlin out of his system. {123415}{123491}It's not your fault. it's Dante. {123493}{123567}I-Look. l don't know|thing one about chicks. {123569}{123643}So if you gotta cry or something,|I can get outta here. {123644}{123704}- I'm not sad.|- You're not ? {123706}{123755}Ow ! What'd you do that for ? {123756}{123830}If you didn't wanna go out with me|anymore, why didn't you say so ? {123831}{123893}Instead you pussyfoot around|and see that slut behind my back ! {123895}{123968}- What are you talking about ?|- You've been talking to her|on the phone for weeks ! {123970}{124031}- it was only a few times.|- Then you pull that shit this morning, {124032}{124083}freaking out because|I've gone down a couple of guys. {124085}{124158}- Oh, a couple ?|- I'm not the one trying|to patch things up with my ex, {124160}{124209}sneaking around behind your back ! {124211}{124285}If you think 37 dicks are a lot,|just wait and see, mister. {124287}{124360}I'm going to put the hookers|in Times Square to shame|with all the guys l go down on now ! {124362}{124410}- Will you let me explain ?|- Explain what ? {124412}{124486}How you've been waiting|until the time was right, and then|you were going to dump me for her ? {124488}{124540}- it isn't like that !|- Damn right it isn't like that ! {124542}{124631}Because l won't let it be like that.|You want your slut ?|Fine, the slut is yours. {124633}{124697}- l don't want Caitlin.|- You don't know what you want ! {124699}{124776}But I'm not going to sit here|holding your hand anymore|until you figure it out ! {124778}{124830}I've tried with you, Dante. {124832}{124907}I've encouraged you to get out of this|fucking dump and go back to school, {124909}{124964}to take charge of your life|and find direction. {124966}{125017}I even transferred|so maybe you'd be more inclined... {125019}{125070}to go back to college|if l was with you. {125072}{125128}Everyone said it was a stupid move,|but l didn't care... {125130}{125178}because l loved you|and wanted to see you... {125180}{125239}pull yourself out of this senseless funk|that you've been in... {125241}{125289}since that whore dumped you|oh, so many years ago. {125291}{125358}Now you wanna go back to her|so she can fuck you over some more ! {125359}{125424}- l don't wanna go back--|- Of course not ! Not now ! {125426}{125500}You're caught,|and now you're trying to snake out|of doing what you wanted to do ! {125501}{125546}Well, l won't let you. {125548}{125625}I want you to follow through on this|so you can find out|what a fucking idiot you are ! {125626}{125700}And when she dumps you again--|and l promise you, she will-- {125701}{125760}I want to laugh in your face|so you realize that... {125762}{125810}that was what you gave up|our relationship for ! {125812}{125876}I'm just glad that Randal had the balls|to tell me since you couldn't ! {125878}{125952}- Randal ?|- And having him tell me,|that was just the weakest move ever. {125953}{126007}- You're spineless !|- Veronica, l love you ! {126009}{126052}Fuck you ! {126055}{126127}[ Gong Ringing ] {126441}{126490}Dante ? {126542}{126633} Our problems seem a world away {126664}{126714} Close your eyes {126716}{126788} And they'll all go away {126789}{126906} Close the night and listen {126908}{127011} Close your eyes to me {127013}{127074} And sell the lie {127075}{127141} My face {127143}{127207} Shall live {127209}{127280} You'll all be replaced {127281}{127339}How's your eye ? {127341}{127421}The swelling's not that bad,|but the F.D.S. stings. {127458}{127535}- How's your neck ?|- it's kinda hard to swallow. {127576}{127625}You didn't have to choke me, you know. {127627}{127711}Why did you tell Veronica that l was|gonna dump her to go back with Caitlin ? {127713}{127789}- l thought l was doing you a favor.|- Oh, Jesus. {127791}{127841}You're always saying|how you can't initiate change yourself. {127843}{127889}I thought I'd give you a hand. {127891}{127944}Thanks. {127946}{127995}You still didn't have to choke me. {127996}{128070}Oh, please.|I'm surprised l didn't kill you. {128071}{128125}- Why do you say that ?|- Why do l say that ? {128127}{128176}Randal-- [ Sighs ]|Forget it. {128177}{128254}- No, really.|What did l do that was so wrong ?|- What don't you do ? {128256}{128336}Sometimes l think|the only reason you come to work|is to make my life miserable. {128337}{128397}- How do you figure ?|- What time did you get to work today ? {128398}{128458}Like 10:00, or ten after. {128460}{128537}You were over a half an hour late.|And then all you do is come in here. {128538}{128633}- Yeah, to talk to you.|- Which means the video store|is ostensibly closed ! {128635}{128684}Oh, it's not like I'm miles away. {128685}{128736}Unless you're out renting video|at other video stores. {128738}{128842}- Hermaphrodites. l rented it|so we could watch it together.|- You get me slapped with a fine. {128844}{128917}You argue with the customers,|and l have to patch everything up. {128919}{128977}You get us thrown out of a funeral|by violating the corpse. {128979}{129075}Then to top it all off,|you ruin my relationship.|I mean, what's your encore ? {129077}{129169}Do you, like, anally rape my mother|while pouring sugar in my gas tank ? {129232}{129314}You know what the real tragedy|about all of this is ? {129316}{129369}I'm not even supposed|to be here today ! {129371}{129456}Oh, fuck you !|Fuck you, pal ! {129458}{129511}Jesus, there you go,|trying to pass the buck. {129513}{129561}I'm the source of all your misery. {129563}{129654}Who closed the store to play hockey ?|Who closed the store to go to a wake ? {129655}{129707}Who tried to win back|his ex-girlfriend... {129709}{129784}without even discussing|how he felt with his present one ? {129786}{129850}You wanna blame somebody ?|Blame yourself. {129852}{129901}""I'm not even supposed|to be here today."" {129902}{129946}You sound like an asshole ! {129948}{129999}Jesus, nobody twisted|your arm to be here. {130001}{130052}You're here of your own volition. {130054}{130128}You like to think the weight|of the world rests on your shoulder, {130129}{130203}Like this place would fall apart|if Dante wasn't here. {130205}{130275}Jesus, you overcompensate for having|what's basically a monkey's job. {130277}{130400}You push fuckin' buttons. Anybody|could waltz in here and do our jobs. {130402}{130484}You're so obsessed|with making it seem so much more epic, {130485}{130545}so much more important|than it really is. {130547}{130662}Christ, you work in a convenience store,|Dante, and badly, l might add ! {130664}{130738}I work in a shitty video store,|badly as well. {130740}{130838}You know, that guy Jay's got it right.|He has no delusions about what he does. {130840}{130911}Us, we like to make ourselves|seem so much more important... {130913}{130997}than the people that come in here to|buy a paper or, God forbid, cigarettes. {130998}{131055}We look down on them|as if we're so advanced. {131057}{131105}Well, if we're so fuckin' advanced, {131107}{131167}what are we doin' workin' here ? {131623}{131710}Hey, the floor looks pretty clean.|I put the cat next door. {131712}{131798}- Need a ride home ?|- No, l got one. Just pulled up. {131799}{131848}You workin' tomorrow ? {131849}{131898}Same time. What about you ? {131899}{131985}I'm callin' out.|Goin' to the hospital and visit Caitlin. {131987}{132048}And then I'm gonna try|to talk to Veronica. {132050}{132099}You wanna grab a bite|to eat or something... {132100}{132154}when you're done with that|and l get off work ? {132155}{132229}- I'll give you a call, let you know.|- All right. {132231}{132280}Hey, good luck with Veronica. {132281}{132355}- lf you want, l can talk to her,|try and straighten this--|- No, thanks. {132356}{132403}I think l can handle it. {132405}{132473}We have a lot of shit to talk about. {132475}{132550}- Hell of a day.|- To say the least. {132552}{132625}Want me to do anything|before l get out of here, man ? {132627}{132675}Why don't you wrangle for me ? {132677}{132734}- [ Scoffs ] No.|- Come on. Just wrangle out the door. {132736}{132803}- No. No, no, no.|- Come on. {132805}{132854} Here comes Randal {132855}{132914} He's a Berserker {132916}{133040} [ Humming ]|[ Laughing ] {133101}{133149}You're closed. {133340}{133467} I may never get what l want {133468}{133575} But I'm happy just to die tryin' {133577}{133703} And l hope l ain't done nobody wrong {133705}{133827} But l miss you smilin' {133829}{133970} And I'm lookin' for a cure|'cause I'm bored to tears {133972}{134021} And I'm stuck in here {134022}{134132} Stuck out here, stuck in here {134133}{134211} We lived through another day {134213}{134294} it's a good excuse to celebrate {134296}{134362} Take a number, knock on wood {134364}{134449} We'll find a reason to feel good {134451}{134505} I know you know l want to know {134507}{134564} How l feel {134566}{134640} I can't even tell {134642}{134718} I can't even tell {134720}{134785} I can't even tell {134839}{134947} No one knows nothin' about me {134949}{135022} I'm guessin'|I'll just keep on guessin' {135068}{135188} No one sees what l see {135190}{135285} This is my blessin' {135287}{135430} And I'm lookin' for a way|to get outta here {135432}{135480} Get me outta here {135482}{135594} Outta here, outta here {135596}{135668} We lived through another day {135670}{135755} it's a good excuse to celebrate {135757}{135824} Take a number, knock on wood {135826}{135909} Find a reason to feel good {135911}{135964} I know you know|Just want to know {135966}{136023} How l feel {136025}{136096} I can't even tell {136098}{136174} I can't even tell {136176}{136239} I can't even tell {136866}{136919} I'm outta here {136921}{137040} Outta here|Outta here {137042}{137099} I know you know l want to know {137101}{137158} How l feel {137160}{137229} I can't tell {137231}{137291} I know you know I'll tell ya {137292}{137344} If it's real {137346}{137420} it's not our last affair {137422}{137484}- I can't even tell |- [ Jay ] Smokin' weed, smokin' weed {137486}{137574} Noise, noise, noise|Smokin' weed, smokin' weed